Every morning, I logged onto Weight Watchers Online, and I went back several times a day to track everything that I ate, even keeping a paper journal throughout the day so that I would be sure to not forget anything. I would also spend hours on the message boards, groups, and challenges. I also began my true obsession with blogging that year, both on my WW.com blog and on here.
I had a very specific weight loss goal for 2010, and I knew that it would take hard work and dedication to reach it. The goal was to lose 50 pounds in 2010, and I did it. It still makes me feel very proud to know that I did that.
Enter 2011. Suddenly my life included something new that's really important to me: school.
Suddenly my life revolved around school, with Weight Watchers coming in 2nd.
I still made Weight Watchers and exercise a priority, which is why I was able to lose 13.6 pounds in the first few months of the year despite being such a busy bee.
Summer hit, and I pretty much maintained my loss, going up and down the same 1 to 3 pounds every week.
Then came fall semester... along with a tougher class schedule (no more freshman level courses), a car accident, and a bunch of family drama. And suddenly, Weight Watchers/exercise/healthy lifestyle slid into 3rd place in the priorities.
School, then family/STRESS, then Weight Watchers.
And that's when the scale started to creep up quickly. I gained 23.4 pounds from my low weight of 143.2, and got back up to 166.6 somehow. And it wasn't really with obvious culprits such as binge eating or lack of exercise.
Nope, it was sneaky stuff like a stolen bite here and there. Not tracking every day. Cheating myself on the scale. Not accurately measuring my food. A few bad habits creeping back in, like eating chips straight from the bag while watching TV.
Stress can kill your dieting efforts. It definately killed mine.
When I finally stopped lying to myself about my weight gain, I felt in control again. Healthy eating and exercise still aren't my number one priority, but I'm back on the wagon anyway. I've lost 10.4 of the gained weight, which puts me back to 156.2, a mere .6 pound net loss for 2011. Sigh.
I can only hope that even though it's not my number 1 priority, that I can continue to lose weight and eventually be able to maintain without the constant fear of regain.
But I'm still terrified that I have a body that wants to be bigger. Like my body is happiest at around 165 and will keep trying to get me back to that size if I'm not paying close attention.
All in all, I have decided that I would rather be a college graduate (with honors!!!) who is slightly overweight than someone who hates her job and life but is great at losing weight.
So that's where I'm at now, just trying to get back to my goal weight, but without the HUGE priority anymore. I'm ready to find a healthy balance.
Of course, that will have to wait until after these finals are over!
Has stress ever messed with your