30DoB - D12 - How day 1 of no-TV eating went

It was very odd to not eat while watching TV.  I did notice that my hunger levels were actually down throughout the day.  I don't know if that was only because of the new rule, or what.

Also, at every meal, there was FOOD LEFT BEHIND on my plate.  Say what?!?!!??!?!

Yes.  Food.  Left behind.  On my plate.  It's true.

I didn't make the healthiest decisions, food-wise, but I was able to truly listen to my hunger signals, so I think that if I had tracked yesterday it would have been an acceptable amount of food to lose weight. 

All in all, I think that this was a successful first day. 

Today is day two.  I haven't eaten breakfast yet, but I am thinking about oatmeal.  The TV will have to go off when I sit down to eat.

I can really see how eating without the TV on will help me in many ways.  Since I'm so fond of lists, here are the good things that I see coming out of this:

 

1) I will be able to better listen to my hunger signals.

2) I will not overeat on junk food, because for me, it's only "fun" to do so while watching TV.  Yesterday, when I sat down to eat a junk food snack without the TV, I didn't enjoy it as much, and definitely didn't overeat.  I was able to stick to ONE serving. 

3) Cooking may start happening again, because it is more enjoyable to sit down and enjoy a home-cooked meal than it is to eat something convenient and quick.  When I really focus on the flavor of a lean cuisine, for example, I find that it's really not that great.

4) I can still eat ANYTHING that I want to.  Just no TV.  So, I will finally figure out what foods I actually like.  I figure anything that I can enjoy without mindless TV eating is a food that I love.

I'm sure that I will find more good things later.  For now, I'm still on a roll for day 2.

Stacey is 100% supportive of this, which is amazing!  I thought that it would bother him to turn the TV off while I ate on the weekends, but he is completely fine with it.  We actually sat down and ate together and conversed a bit while we ate last night, instead of our usual eating while watching a movie.  We still ate, and watched a movie, just not at the same time.  It was fine.

I really do miss TV eating, and every time I get hungry, I'm a little sad that I can't eat while watching TV anymore.  But I think that it's like anything else:  I will have to get used to it.  Plus the benefits will outweigh this slight discomfort.

I'm off to the gym later to run 3.1 miles and see where I'm at in my 5K training...  More about that adventure tomorrow.  :-)

30DoB - D11 - one rule only...

I have a theory about myself.

I think that if I follow only ONE food rule, I would lose weight and keep it off.

Any guess as to what rule that is?

You guessed it.  The rule that (in theory) would help me to lose weight and keep it off is this:

NO MORE EATING IN FRONT OF THE TV.

so many pictures came up when I googled those words!

 I always eat in front of the TV.  This is almost not an exaggeration.  The only exceptions are when I'm on the go (eating in the car on the way to class, or actually eating IN class) or when I'm out to eat.  And even then, sometimes there is a TV.

I just really think that if I could stop this bad habit, that if I could just turn the TV off while I eat... then I would be forced to focus on my hunger signals.  Eventually, that alone would result in weight loss and then weight maintenance.

So, that's  my new plan.  No more TV eating.  I'm sure that I will slip up sometimes, because it's something that I've done my entire life.  And I'm sure that sometimes I will still do it on purpose, when I'm with family or friends and it would make less sense to leave the room to eat than it would to just go ahead and enjoy the company.

As with all STRICT rules, this one may backfire.  I may end up freaking out and overeating chips and snack cakes while watching Nick at Nite...  oh wait, I did that today.  So there is no real risk in giving this a try.  My crazy grieving appetite just won't shut up, and all it wants is JUNK. 

But really, I want that good ole' junk/TV combo.  Which I am going to stop that bad habit cold turkey and see what happens.

I will report back my findings.

Wish me luck!

30DoB - D10 - Things I will miss when I move to NYC...

I don't know if any of you noticed, but there has been a countdown over there ------->  which passed by on my 28th birthday. 

A couple of years ago, before I went back to school and decided that I wanted to be a lawyer, back when my only dream for the future was to move to New York City, I started that countdown and made it my goal to move there by my 28th birthday.

I quit smoking and started saving the money that I had been spending on cigarettes towards my move to NYC.  My plan was to save $10,000 to move and get settled while looking for work for a few months.

However, my plans changed.  I still saved a bunch of money in a little over a  year, but instead of moving to NYC by age 28 with no education and very little job prospects, I went back to school and pushed my NY move to age 29, when I get accepted and attend Columbia Law.  :-)

Without a job for a year, my savings are almost gone.  But I guess that's okay because I'm in school.

There are a few benefits to where I live now, and I thought that I would write a post to help remind myself why I'm lucky to live in a Memphis apartment instead of a NYC one.  )Sorry that our place isn't cleaned up, so if these pictures aren't beautiful... oh well.  I tried to angle the shots to miss the messes.)

1) a 2nd bedroom.  Stacey and I live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and use the 2nd bedroom as guest/storage/exercise room.  There is a TV in there too, so sometimes Stacey will watch football when I'm busy watching Sister Wives or doing homework in the living room on a Sunday night.

2) a half bath in the master bedroom.  Yep, we have not one, but TWO toilets.  And that picture of the woman showering?  That's a Leah K. New original.  I went through a painting phase in my early twenties...  I still think about picking up a brush again some day!

3) a dishwasher.  Every NYC apartment I've been in does not feature one of these guys.  And I am not going to take it for granted while I still have one!

4) Washer and dryer in unit!  Yes these are ancient units, and yes one has stickers on it that are left from a previous tenant that I can not scrub off...  but I love having these bad boys.  So much better than laundromats to me.

5) I get to live with dogs.  I'm scared that I may not be able to bring them to NYC with me.  It may not be fair to them with my being so busy with law school and not having the money to hire a dog walker... but we will see.  I hope to be able to move Diva and Jacques with me for the rest of their lives.

And of course, I get to live in this apartment for less than half the cost of living in a one bedroom NYC apartment.  So there are plenty of good things about where I'm at.

But... as awesome as my apartment is, it's not in New  York City.  But don't worry, guys.  I'll get there.  The new goal in fall 2014, which is getting pretty close.  :-)

30 Days of Blogging - Day 9 - Mom's Tree

As you all know, I'm always looking for new ways to honor my mom.  My grief counselor gave me a really great idea a few weeks ago, and I was able to impliment it (with help from my dad and brother) a few nights ago.

The idea is this:  A Memorial Ornament Party.  What is that, exactly?

It's when a bunch of people who lost a loved one gather at the home of the family of said loved one, each person bringing a Christmas ornament that reminds them of the person lost.  Everyonoe explains their choice, maybe tells a story or two to go with it, then takes turns hanging their ornaments on the tree. 

When I heard this idea, I immediately knew that it was perfect for our family.  Mom loved Christmas so much.  Her favorite part was always decorating the tree with my brother and me.  This year, I was dreading that part, and considered skipping it entirely.  But when I heard about the memorial ornament party, I knew Mom would love it.

So my brother and I gathered a bunch of family and friends to Dad's house, and we had our party.  Everyone who attended took it seriously; no one was just humoring me.  I think that this activity helped everyone involved to feel closer to Mom.

Here's the finished product:

Of course, ornaments are still on their way via snail mail from relatives who could not make it to the party, so it's not complete quite yet, but it's beautifully gaudy, just like Mom always liked her tree to be. 

After we each hung our ornaments, we all put the icicles (tinsel) on, which was Mom's favorite part of decorating the tree every year.  I really felt her presence at that moment, surrounded by people who she loved so much, doing something that she loved so much.  It was magical.

The next day, we found her beloved JCPenney snow globe collection and displayed those as well.  Unfortunately those jerks at JCP discontinued the tradition this year (I'm so upset about the timing.  Please sign my petition to get them to bring them back in 2013).

I'm feeling pretty good about the decorations being out!  They remind me of Mom. 

after decorating the tree December 2011

30 Days of Blogging - Day 8 - Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I hope that all of you (who celebrate American Thanksgiving!) had fantastic days filled with happy family memories.

I managed to have a good time with Stacey's family, who is starting to feel like my family.  I can't believe that it has taken almost 5 years to feel that way, but tonight I just really felt accepted and loved by his family.  Perhaps they were super nice to me because they know that this was my first holiday season without a mom... or maybe they have always been this nice and I'm just now noticing (Stacey's theory).  Either way, I was very grateful to feel embraced by them. 

His sister hosted a big meal, and she made special vegetarian food for me.  I felt very loved!  Usually I bring my own food to  these things, but she said to not bother with that, that it was no problem to cook some extra for just me.  :-)  So I enjoyed a meal of spaghetti, potatoes, and vegetarian stuffing. 

The morning was filled with tears, because it hit me (AGAIN) how sad I am that Mom is gone and never coming back.  I debated not even going to Stacey's family thing, and instead staying home feeling sorry for myself.

I'm so glad that I chose to go. 

I'm so glad that Stacey's family was so nice to and accepting of me.  I'm thankful for all of them, especially Stacey.

And I'm very thankful to have had 27 years with the best mom in the entire world.

Mom and me, Thanksgiving 2010

30 Days of Blogging - Day 7 - Snuggling Chihuahuas

Yeah... After FINALLY being done with both a giant paper and a big presentation, we're all ready to just chill-ax.  Apparently all of my hard work has tired Diva and Jacques out.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!!!

30 Days of Blogging - Day 6: Paper Writing!

This is a fun post to look at if you've ever wondered what I look like when I'm stressed and writing a paper that is due TOMORROW AT NOON.

6 in the morning, woo-hoo!!!

Notice the greasy unwashed hair and face.  This is the face of a trooper.  The face of a student who stayed up late working on this paper only to wake up early and start again.  The face of someone who has had months to work on this paper and still is not done. 

Same face a few minutes later, upon remembering exactly how much of her grade depends on this one paper.

Time to get to work, but maybe I'll post a blog first so that I don't accidentally skip today's blog...  Surely that's an acceptable way to procrastinate for a few minutes?

Exhasted and crazed, but this face will live to see another day.  Tomorrow this paper will be a thing of the past.