30 Days of Blogging - Day 5 - Hungry People

I am taking a class called "Human Rights and World Politics" (I'm a political science major!) and today's topic was extremely depressing.

World hunger. 

There were some very upsetting stats brought up, including this one:  Every 5 seconds, a child dies from hunger.

And that not only depresses me, it makes me feel guilty for being so overweight.  I mean, there are people going to bed HUNGRY every night, and people dying of malnutrition.  And here I am, wasting food every week.  50 pounds overweight.

Eating snack cakes and not eating healthy foods, even though they are all readily available for me.

It was such a hard reality check for me.

Not that knowing these facts about starving people can magically cure me of my food addiction.  But this is very eye-opening, and I hope that one day I will be able to help in this devestating world wide crisis.

Here's a link about how to solve world hunger, which seems like a really good source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/15/seven-ways-to-solver-hung_n_872894.html#s288929&title=Heifer_International

Anyway, I hope that I didn't depress you guys too much.  I just thought that I would share this sobering moment with you all.

Knowledge is power.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 4 - my workout buddies

What I have to deal with while I bike in the living room!

30 Days of Blogging - Day 3 - Mom with dogs

This is a picture only blog entry!  I will probably do that on the weekends, since no one really reads the weekend posts.

My three angels: Mom (1960-2012) with Rose (1997-2012) and Stuffy (1987- 2004)

I hope that you have enjoyed seeing these pictures!  I love how I had a mom who truly loved dogs, and I know that she is with Stuffy and Rose now.  I want no part of an afterlife without my dogs, and neither did Mom!  We talked about it plenty when she was alive, and it gives me comfort to know that not only were plenty of human family members waiting to greet Mom, but there were also several beloved dogs.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 2: Measurements!!!

It's been exactly one month since the last time that I took my measurements, and since I'm blogging daily I thought that it would be the perfect topic.

Lately I've been contemplating giving up on the scale and instead taking weekly pictures of myself and monthly measurements.  I figure that what gets me off track whenever I give up the scale isn't that I don't know my weight.  It's that I don't have a weekly ritual to look forward to.  Why care about what I eat or how much I exercise if there won't be evidence at the end of the week?  So maybe if I take a weekly photo of myself, that would be something.  But I'm not giving up on the scale just yet, because I think that it is a helpful tool for me at this stage.

I know that the photo would not change drastically from week to week, but over time I have to believe that it will.  And wouldn't that make a cool flip book some day, when I've gone from a size 18 to a size 12?  I think so.

Anyway, here were my measurements today (the difference between now and September 16th):

neck- 13 (-1)
boobs- 42.5 (0)
under boobs- 37 (-1.5)
wrist- 6 (0)
upper arm- 15 (0)
forearm- 9.5 (0)
tiny waist- 35.5 (-2.5)
belly button- 44 (0)
butt- 52 (0)
thigh, widest- 28 (0)
thigh, smallest- 21 (0)
calf- 16.5 (0)
ankle- 10 (0)

So in the past two months I've lost 5 inches from all over my body.  This would be cause for celebration, but...  I took my measurements a month ago (and have since lost them!) and the number was 5 inches lost then, too.  So I haven't really lost any inches since October 16th, which stinks.

But hey, I kept those 5 inches off for a month, which is great!  Still, I'm going to aim to lose more by the end of this blogging challenge.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 1: Cousins!

Carrie, Me, Debbie, Mollie

I thought that I would start my blogging challenge with a topic that is very dear to me: cousins.

I have many cousins (one side of my family is Catholic) and we have always been very close.

Unfortunately there was a big case of family betrayal last year that resulted in a portion of my family being disowned, many of them cousins.  i won't go into any more details than that, other than to say that it still breaks my heart, but apparently the universe decided that the last twelve months of my life needed to resemble a soap opera as much as possible.  Well played, Universe.

Anyway, I still have so many cousins in town, and I love them all very much.  We are all around the same age, and are more like best friends than cousins. 

Last night we went to Paint-A-Piece and each designed a plate.  Mine is going to be a christmas cookie plate.  :-)

I appreciate all that they are, and all that they do.  I can't imagine having gone through the last few months without the support of my amazing cousins.  I may have lost a mom, but they lost a wonderful aunt. 

I'm so lucky to have these guys.

30 Day Blogging Challenge - I'm making this one up, y'all.

Okay, so I've noticed (any perhaps you have, too) that it's been awhile since I've blogged regularly.

I could come up with a million excuses.  Would you like to hear the top five?  Here they are-

1. I'm really busy with school right now!  Papers due, finals, etc.
2. I'm still really distracted with my grief, and miss Mom so much it hurts too much to focus on anything other than things that I absolutely MUST focus on (see #1) and even those can be daunting at times.  I've missed more classes this semester than ever before.  I don't have perfect attendence in ANY class, which is weird for me.
3. I've gotten WAY off track with my eating.  I wasn't even able to stick to my one-week-at-a-time thing for more than three weeks.  I'm overeating and not tracking one day, then tracking but still eating junk food the next day.  Rarely do I see a vegetable or a whole grain, unless you count the fakey onion bits on a sour cream and onion potato chips (or the potato, for that matter).  Therefore, it's really tough to blog on here, where I am supposed to be a role model (sort of...).
4. I just don't feel like blogging.  So there.
5. I'm worried that if I blog too much about new ideas that I have, you guys won't take me seriously anymore, because I'm flip-flopped plans and ideas so much in the past.  Therefore, I feel like if I don't blog about it, no one will know, and no one can judge...

Okay, so those are pretty much the top five reasons that I have not been blogging regularly.  And every single one of those is a legitimate reason to not blog.  Right?  ;-)

Anyway, I've decided that perhaps I could try to do a blogging challenge.

Instead of finding one that I like, I have decided to create one.  Every day for thirty days there will be a topic.  The challenge will run November 15 through December 15, and the point is that I will post something every day. 

I've always believed in quality over quantity when it comes to blog posts.  However, please ignore that belief for the next 30 days, because there are sure to be some really poor quality posts in there.

Some will be only pictures, others will contain only a few words, and some will be well thought out and beautiful.  But the latter of the three will probably not happen too often, as this is a very busy time of the year for a student!!!

I hope that you enjoy the next 30 days of my blog.  I also hope that I benefit in some way from regular blogging.  I think that it will be therapeutic and rewarding for me.

Stacey and Jacques snuggle up for a Cowboys game!

Naturally Thin?

Is anyone truly naturally thin?  Are there folks out there who eat only when hungry and only until satisfied, and to whom that behavior just comes... naturally?

I am so jealous.

Yes I know that SMG probably isn't naturally thin,
but the character of Buffy Summers totally is.  Yes, I'm crazy.

Because, as much as I have tried to be one of them, I'm not.

But here I go again, giving this intuitive eating thing a try.  But only for one week this time!  Possibly two, if I think that I'm getting the hang of it by Saturday.

I'm still doing the "one week at a time" approach to dieting, and so far it's working out.

This week (which started on Saturday for me, as all of my weight loss weeks do), I'm doing Intuitive Eating/"Diets Don't Work".  I will still be focusing on getting plenty of sleep, drinking plenty of water, and doing plenty of exercise.  But I will not be tracking my food.

Instead, I will be just listening to my hunger signals.  Which is tough.  This may require me to eat with the TV turned off, which is a huge struggle for me.  I do think that if I ever want to truly learn to listen to my hunger signals that the TV will have to go off while I eat, at least for awhile.

I think that alone would result in my eating a LOT less, because I truly enjoy eating while watching TV and if that's not available to me, why would I overeat, sitting alone without the company of the TV?  Trying to truly enjoy THE FOOD instead of enjoying THE TV and mindlessly eating the "food" (I tend to mostly eat "franken-foods" while I watch TV).

Anyway, here I go again, on another attempt at being an intuitive eater.  But this time, it's not a true attempt, because I fully plan to go back to using MFP within a week or two.  I think that the pressure of "forever" the last times that I tried IE got to me.  One week at a time, even with IE, will hopefully be just what I need.

Will I ever be naturally thin?  I actually do believe that I will be.  But it may still be a few years away.  It is a goal of mine still, and I will NEVER give up on that goal.  Just like my goal to move to NYC, I will have to make and stick to a plan in order to make it happen; it won't happen just because I want it to.  Through trial and error, practicing IE, and never giving up, I will one day be my version of naturally thin.

What is my version of naturally thin?  The next paragraph is how I want to eat some day:

I eat whatever I want, no restrictions.  However, because of years of working healthy diets, I will usually turn towards healthy and whole options because that is just what my body wants and what I crave.  Food has absolutely no moral meaning to me.  I eat a Kit-Kat bar just like I eat a Green Monster:  because it tastes good and it's what my body craves.  Also, I eat only when hungry and I always stop before I get uncomfortably full.  There may be special occasions when that previous sentence doesn't apply, and I will on those special days sometimes overeat, but I will feel no guilt about it and easily go right back to listening to my hunger signals.  I have worn the same jeans size for  years, because my weight no longer fluctuates.  I got down to my healthy weight and have been able to easily stay there, because now I'm naturally thin.

Notice that nowhere in there did I say my weight or pants size.  To me, naturally thin is not about a specific number.  It's more about the behavior and how comfortable I am in my own skin.  If I could do all of the above at my current weight, then by my definition I would be naturally thin.

Anyway, that still seems like a fairy-tale most of the time.  Because of years of disordered eating and dieting and hating my body's appearance, it may be awhile before I get there.  But I will get there, don't  you worry. It will take a long time, and plenty of ups and downs, but I will be naturally thin one day.

Here are last week's stats:

Weight Update
week three start weight: 200.0
end of week three weight: 199.0
total weight loss for week: 1 pounds
total weight loss since 28th birthday (10/07/12): 5.4 pounds

 

I love when Diva relaxes so hard that she literally smiles!

What are your long-term goals when it comes to

diet and exercise?