Things are crazy, but I'll be back!

I just wanted to let my faithful readers (and new readers!) know that I haven't forgotten about this blog.

I love my blog!  :-)

Life is just so busy right now, trying to get caught up at work, and trying to study for finals.  I promise you that I have some awesome ideas for new posts, and I can't wait to share them with you!

Here are some things that you should look forward to:

• From "grandma boobs" to "are those real?" - getting a new bra can do wonders for your changing body! 
• A look into my cabinets and fridge/freezer
• Tasty Tuesdays!
• workout clothes "before and after" - First, I have to actually go buy new workout clothes.  This one should be pretty good though, since my current workout wardrobe is almost too embarassing to post here. 
• more "in-a-bowl"/"open-a-can" SFT recipes!
• As soon as I get 100 followers, I will be doing a giveaway of The Kind Diet book!  Eventually I hope to also give away Skinny Bitch and PETA's Vegan College Cookbook, but those will come later (maybe at 125 and 150 followers?)  It just seems like 100 followers would be a great thing to celebrate with a giveaway.  I'm getting close with 89!  Love you guys.  ;-)

I promise to start updating regularly again as soon as finals are over.  Well, maybe a day of celebration first, but then, regular posting.  :-)

I hope that you are all having fantastic days.   Here's a poster that has meant the world to me, just to make you guys think a bit.

by: Alex Kopin

I'm back, baby!

I'm so happy with my dieting situation right now.  I think that I needed that wakeup call last week.

Thank you to everyone who read my last post and commented!  You ladies seriously rock my world, and your supportive comments really helped me get through that craziness.

:-)

Life is one big ball of stress right now, so I will make this post short and sweet so that I can get back to said stress.  The biggest stressor = finals are coming.  My first final is tonight!!! At 5:30 central time, if you want to send positive thoughts/energy/prayers my way.  Whatever you got, I'll take! 

Anyway, after reflecting A LOT about why I was starting to hear my old ED-voice again, I realized that it really was about control.  I felt completely out of control in my life, and food and exercise were two things that I can definately control.  But, luckily, I DID NOT listen to that voice.  I caught myself in time, and have continued my healthy eating.

One good thing to come out of that mess:  I am fully embracing Weight Watchers.  Once again, I am committed to tracking my food and exercise on ww.com, and to follow the principles of the Simply Filling Technique.  I briefly considered going back to counting Points Plus full time, but decided that the SFT works so well for me mentally, that I will just stick with that.

I have decided that I may never be able to be an intuitive eater.  As someone with a history of eating disorders, that may not be a realistic goal.  I may need to track my food in some way forever.  *gulp*

Just saying that out loud has actually been a relief for me.  No more big IE goal for me, looming just out of my reach.  I can embrace intuitive eating within the borders of Weight Watchers with the SFT. 

Another reason that I know for sure that my eating disorder hasn't resurfaced:  I answered a poll on the 20's board this morning about the Points Plus program, and how much weight I have lost since starting it.

I looked back in my Weight Tracker, because I really had no clue.  Turns out I've lost 13.4 pounds in the 21 weeks of Points Plus.  And that seems like a great rate of loss for someone so close to goal!  If I continue to lose at that rate (about .6 pound a week), I will be at my goal weight of 135 by my birthday in October. Perfect.  But, I'm not going to obsess about that number.  Instead, I'm going to just focus on the SFT and on my exercise schedule, and get to my goal weight whenever my body is ready for it.  One day at a time.

P.S.  I lost 1.2 this week!!!  Only .4 away from where I was before the gain a couple of weeks ago.  More proof that it's so much easier to gain weight than it is to lose it. 

Unhealthy food obsession creeping back into my life?

I really hope not...  but I'm starting to feel that need to be "in control" of my food intake again.  I haven't felt this way in years, and it scares me.

I am thinking about food way too often.  I think about how much I've eaten, how much I have left to eat for the day, when my next meal or snack will be, what my next meal or snack will be, whether or not I was "good" at my last meal or snack, whether or not I "deserve" a treat, etc.

These are not healthy thoughts!

I am starting to think that my eating disorder thinking is starting to creep back into my head, and THAT IS NOT OKAY WITH ME.

Repeat:  Not okay.

The good thing is that I have recognized that it's happening, and right away.  The bad thing is that I have no clue how to fix it.

I guess that I will just try to focus on the other things in my life, and to listen to my hunger signals and track my food with the Simply Filling Technique of Weight Watchers. 

I am embarrased to come on here and admit to this, because I like to think of myself as a good example of someone who is fully recovered from disordered eating.

But I guess that there is a reason that they never gave me a completion certificate at the end of my recovery program in 2005:  There may not be a completion date for this illness.  In times of extreme stress, my brain's first response is this-

"Must have control!  Must control something... I know, I can control my FOOD!!!  Time to start restricting and being obsessive!  That will solve my problem of feeling out of control, right?!  RIGHT?!"

And that is WRONG.  And I know that.

Since I've recognized the cause of this momentary relapse in healthy thinking is STRESS, perhaps I should start with that.  Deal with whatever it is that is stressing me out.  Practice relaxation techniques.  Say my affirmations and do some meditation.  Take a bubble bath.  Yoga.  Pray. 

Also, I believe that I'm stressed because I feel as if I'm behind at both work and in school.  If I focus on getting caught up, one task at a time, and on studying, on chapter at a time, then I should (in theory) begin to feel that stress melt away.

Thanks for reading.  I will not be doing a Tasty Tuesday tonight, but those should resume next week.

P.S. I should mention that I have not acted on my thoughts to restrict, I am still eating a healthy amount of food (following WW guidelines) and exercising a healthy amount (30-60 minutes a day, most days) and will continue to do so.  Just scared of the thoughts.  And yes, I added this disclaimer mostly in case my family is reading this and terrified!  Mom, don't call the hospital, I'm fine.  :-)

Exciting (local) Vegan news!

Finally, Memphis is going vegan.  Well... at least it's about to become much more vegan-friendly! 

There are two new restaraunts scheduled to open in Memphis this month.  And both are - wait for it - entirely vegan!!!

I can't wait to try both of these places out and report back here with reviews.  There are a couple of other places in Memphis that are vegan-friendly:  Whole Foods Market and Muddy's Bake Shop.

Click on the above logo to see their web site!  They are not purely vegan, but they make vegan deserts as well as non-vegan ones.  I can't believe that I only recently discovered these guys.  Every couple of weeks, I have been going there and getting either a slice of cake or two cupcakes.  YUM!!!  Weight Watchers Points Plus, I have to estimate.  I usually consider my treat to be 10 Points Plus, but I may be wrong.  *shrug* At least I track it!  :-)

Again, click on the above logo to see the website!  This is the first vegan place that is coming to Memphis.  It's called Cosmic Coconut, and it's a juice bar and cafe.  It sounds like a very healthy place to eat!  I'm excited about it.  The next place sounds not so healthy but ridiculously delicious...

Imagine Vegan Cafe sounds sooooooooo delicious.  But not really nutritious... ;-)  Their menu has pretty much nothing but vegan comfort food.  Foods that vegans have probably (undoubtedly) missed eating out since going vegan, especially in the South.  Things like:  BBQ Memphis Style "pulled pork" sandwich, "fried chicken" drumsticks, corndogs, pizza, milkshakes, etc. 

Yes, EVIL.  But very exciting!  I will be splurging here as soon as it opens! 

So Memphis is becoming the place to live for vegans.  Well, I wouldn't say that, but it's definately getting closer!  I'm so excited for all of this good local vegan news.

Now, you want to come visit me, don't you?  :-)  Well, come on down!

P.S.  I gained 1.6 this week.  *sigh*  Nothing that I didn't expect!  Too much overeating and not enough tracking.  I've already moved on and am tracking again, so expecting to lose this (plus more!) soon.  13 pounds until GOAL!!! 

Hello, Weight Watchers. I've missed you!

Okay, with all of the back-and-forth that I've been doing lately, I won't be surprised if you don't believe me when I say this:

I'm recommitting to Weight Watchers! 

I've decided to follow the plan as written (hmmm, sound familiar?  It should, because it's the number one tip in my "Tips for Weight Watchers"!  Time to start listening to myself, yes?). 

I'm committing to follow the Simply Filling Technique as I lose these last few pounds and well into maintenance. 

Something has just clicked in my head.  I'm not ready to stop tracking on weightwatchers.com.  I'm simply not ready.

I tried it.  Sparkpeople was awesome, but for whatever reason, I was not holding myself accountable tracking on there.  I overate three times this week, one time being and actual binge. 

Many of my WW.com friends have helped me to see the reasons.  One person let me know that it is most likely complacency on my part.  I'm almost to the weight loss "finish line" and so I feel as if I shouldn't have to work as hard.  WRONG.  I have to work just as hard to lose the last 12 as I did to lose the first 12.

One friend said: 

You are one pound from getting your 75 pound star! 

For those of you who have never done Weight Watchers Online, the stars are rewarded to members on their home pages of ww.com at significant weight loss milestones.  You get a new star for every 5 pounds, plus special ones at 10%, 25 pounds, 50 pounds, 75 pounds, 100 pounds, GOAL weight, etc.  I only have two more big starts to get: 75 pounds and GOAL!!! 

WOW, did that shock me!  I hadn't even thought of that yet.  I mean, I knew that I was heading towards the "only 10 pounds left to lose" mark, and I knew that my ultimate goal is to lose 85 pounds, but I hadn't put 2 and 2 together yet.  :-)  Well, now I have.

Any damage that I may have done this week with my crazed overeating will be minimal compared to what it could have been had I not stopped it now.  Three days of overeating?  A blip in the radar.  No big deal.

Back on track, and feeling amazing!

Stacey (boyfriend) says something every time that one of his sports teams almost gets to the finals, only to get eliminated right before: 

"They were looking forward to the next game. 

They forgot that they had to win this game first!"

I believe that is exactly what I had started to do with my weight loss journey.  I was looking ahead, looking for how the heck I was going to maintain this weight loss, but I forgot that I have to win this game, er, lose 12 more pounds, first.  :-)

So that's what I'm doing!  Focusing on losing the last 12 (maybe 13 now... depending on if I gained this week!) pounds.  One pound at a time.

My first Veganiversay!!!

Exactly one year ago, I wrote this post.

What have I learned in a year as a vegan?

So many things!!! First, I learned that being vegan is not as difficult as I imagined it would be.

I was that girl, the one who said, "I could probably go vegetarian, but never vegan! I love cheese way too much." Ha! Nope, cheese is a distant memory of mine now. And I do remember it tasting delicious, but I also remember the nasty effects of it, mostly IBS-related. Now, I crave cheese-free foods like pizza. I didn't ever find a vegan "cheese" that I liked, so I simply learned to live without cheese. Ant it's really not that hard. Well, not hard at all after a year. :-)

Another lesson: It's okay to order special when out to eat. I have had to get over my fear of upsetting the server and/or chef. I'm used to saying things like, "Is that cooked with butter? If so, could you please either cook it in olive oil instead, or just cook it without any sauce/oil?" and "I'll order the thin crust pizza with NO cheese, extra sauce, and piled high with extra veggies." also, "Can I put a meal together with side items? Great, I'll have the steamed broccoli (no butter!), the baked potato (no butter!), and a large garden salad (no croutons or cheese, oil and vinegar on the side)."

No need to be militant about it. If I am starving, and the only thing available is a granola bar that "may contain traces of dairy or eggs", I choose eating the granola bar over going hungry. This reminds me of another lesson-

Always be prepared! I have taken to carrying a Lara bar or other vegan bar in my purse at all times, usually accompanied with a baggie of dried fruit and/or nuts. This helps if I'm ever out and about and unable to get home to my vegan goodies but am hungry.

Quantity and Quality are both important, which is where being a healthy vegan really comes in handy... Vegetables and fruits (well, most of them anyway) are very low calorie and very high fiber. Eat up!!! No need to choose between quantity and quality. I eat about 10-12 servings of vegetables and fruits daily. Why? Because they are delicious and filling. They have really helped me to "beat the binge" (for the most part. I still have slip-ups every now and then, see my WW.com blog if you must...)

There are a lot of vegan junk foods out there. It's not too hard to gain weight as a vegan, despite the fact that 90% of vegans are not overweight (or something to that effect, a statistic that I read on Peta, I think, so take that one with a grain of salt...). Oreos, potato chips, redvines, soy/almond/rice ice cream, corn chips, etc.... But I have learned that all of these foods are fine in moderation! However, there are some items on this list that are definately "trigger" foods for me and binges, which I will periodically avoid just to cleanse my mind of these foods.

Non-vegan Family and friends can be really supportive. Just bringing my own dish or a package of oreos to parties and events has been a life saver for me, and family and friends have NEVER minded that I bring food along. A year in now, they will usually think of me and have a dish or two at the party that is vegan (or, a dish that they thought would be okay for me, like bacon-soaked green beans... "What? They're vegetarian, no milk and no meat actually in there..." I had to laugh at that one.)

But there will always be people who aren't so supportive. People who are maybe jealous? I don't know. I haven't actually run into many of these guys yet, but I'm ready for them if I do! Veganism is something that I feel pretty strongly about, and no one is going to convince me to go back to meat and dairy.

...I still miss sushi. I only ate sushi annually (birthday!) since it was so expensive. But it was one of my favorite foods in the world, and I do still miss my birthday treat. I am considering going for sushi on my birthday this year and trying the vegan options for the first time, like an avocado roll.

Healthy vegan eating can and WILL result in weight loss, with or without a program (if you need to lose weight, of course!). I don't see how it couldn't. I've obviously followed Weight Watchers for most of my vegan journey, but I really think that if all one ate were healthy vegan foods (beans, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, nuts, healthy oils, etc.), that even without calorie or points counting, weight loss would follow.

One can be a healthy vegan eater without being a master chef. See any of my "open a can" recipes for proof of this. ;-)

I feel lighter than I did when I ate animal products. Not just physically lighter, but emotionally lighter. No more guilt for eating animals, no more guilt for contributing to animal suffering. Veganism is one thing that I have done JUST FOR ME, and since making the decision to go vegan, I have made one healthy decision after another. Health leads to health. Happiness attracts more happiness. :-)

I'm positive that there are more lessons that I've learned, but these are the ones that are on my mind right now.

Happy veganiversary to me!!!

One year VEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Measurements!!!

I've decided to start focusing on the measuring tape and in how clothes fit more than I focus on the scale.

I took my measurements on March 5 (around the time that I started switching up my workouts and adding in The Wave on a regular basis), and then again on April 9. I am pretty pleased with the results so far! I also decided to take monthly progress pictures to post on here.

In these pictures, I'll be wearing a sports bra and a size medium running shorts. These shorts are currently too small, so please don't be too mean about the muffin top! I know it's there. I just thought that this would be a great way to watch as I slowly begin to fit into these shorts again. :-) So in about a month, I'll be taking another photo and comparing it to this one.


Here are my measurements results (in inches):


March 5, 2011

neck- 12.5

upper arm (left)- 12

lower arm (left)- 9

bust (widest part)- 37.5

waist (smallest part)- 30

waist (largest part)- 37

hips (largest part/butt)- 43

thigh (largest part/right)- 24

calf (largest part/left)- 14

April 9, 2011

neck- 12.5 (I think that I may leave this one out from now on, I don't see my neck getting smaller!)

upper arm (left)- 11 (down 1 inch!!!)

lower arm- 9 (same story as neck....)

bust (widest part)- 37 (down half inch!!!)

waist (smallest part)- 30

waist (largest part)- 37

hips (largest part/butt)- 42.5 (down half inch!!!)

thigh (largest part/right)- 23 (down one inch!!!)

calf (largest part/left)- 15 (up one inch! But I think it's muscle, so I'm happy with it!)

Total lost: 2 inches!!! Woo-hoo!!! These are the end result of my first vegan cupcake baking! These are the "Cookies and Cream" cupcakes from "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World". I had to leave you with a fun picture! This is something awesome that I discovered about my haircut! After a sweaty workout, the grease in my hair can make my hair form a mohawk!