January 2015 - Weight Loss Results

So I've decided that I will do monthly updates on the blog about how my weight loss is going.  Again, I'd like to remind everyone reading that though I am once again trying to lose weight, I am not making this the main focus of my life.  Therefore, the results may not be HUGE every month.

But perhaps taking a more recovery-focused path will make the results, whatever they are, huge in a way.  Because it's nice to be losing weight while still loving my body.

I love my body for what it does, and for sticking in there despite years of my not taking proper care of it.  It's mine, and it's the only one I will get, and I love it.  Thanks, body!  You freakin' rock.

So here are the stats:

Starting 2015 weight: 255 lb

Weight lost in January 2015: 10 pounds

Current weight: 245 lb
Total weight loss in 2015: 10 pounds

I'm pretty happy with the weight loss.  So much fluctuating happened in January, reminding me that even weekly weigh-ins may be too much.  I'm going to only weigh in twice in February because of this. 

Here are my progress pictures so far:

Official 2015 "BEFORE" picture:

January 2015 Progress Pictures:

Any realizations learned, any EDNOS progress made in January:

The biggest thing that happened this month, ED-wise, is that I binged a few times.  I recognize that I have a problem with binge-eating, and that I need professional help with this problem.  I am now on two waiting lists:  one for a psychiatrist and one for a psychologist.

I am also super proud of myself for blogging 8 times in January!  I would love for 2015 to be the year that I get back into regular blogging.  The last 3 years have had very sad total blog counts at the end of the year.  :-(

So this will be a monthly blog entry: Results.  I wonder how much I will lose in February?

EDNOS recovery while losing weight update...

Yes, I am still working on writing my very own diet addiction recovery plan.  And yes, I am still trying to lose weight.  And yes, I am still a recovering EDNOS-er.

And I recognize the fact that these three things don't always mesh.  Really, when one is struggling to recover from an eating disorder, the last thing that one needs to be focusing on is weight loss. 

But I am not a newbie to recovery.  This is not my first rodeo.  And every time that I have recovered from my disordered eating in the past, I have not fully recovered from the addiction.  I have been recovering from this since I was 19, and now I'm almost 29. 

And yet I still don't have a grip on my addiction.  My relationship with food and my relationship with my body are two parts of my life that I still struggle with daily.  I am working on this constantly.

I'm working on becoming a "normal" eater, whatever that is.  I have had many ideas of what that meant in the past.  Right now, I just want to focus on getting rid of my disordered eating thoughts.

Every time I eat or drink something right now, I ask myself "Is this something that I would eat or drink if I never had an eating disorder?" And likewise, before every workout, I ask "Is this how I would exercise is I never had an eating disorder?"

And because I will never truly know the answers to those questions, I just guess.

Here are some new recovery goals of mine:

1) Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.  Make these meals substantial.  Make them exactly what I want to eat at that moment.  Actually MAKE them sometimes.  No judgments about the quality or quantity of these foods, just be sure to eat them and enjoy them.

2) Before every food, drink, or exercise decision, ask myself if I am making the decision that a non-ED person would make.  If the answer is "yes", go for it.  If the answer is "no" think about it further.  If I'm not sure, the answer is probably "no".

3) Challenge myself to take risks.  Eat foods that scare me sometimes.  Drink a real Coke or a real pumpkin spice latte every once in awhile.  No judgment.  Just enjoy it.

4) Get off the treadmill if I start focusing on the calories instead of the distance.  It is so much more satisfying to accomplish distance goals than it is to burn calories!  The half marathon is coming up fast...

5) Track only when or if I feel like it.  It is not a requirement.

So as you can see, I'm still focusing on my EDNOS recovery.  I'm sick of being in this rut, with thoughts about food, exercise, and body hate taking up so much space in my brain.  My brain space needs to focus on more important things, like school...

How am I going to lose the weight while recovering?  I fully believe that I can lose weight by just being more aware and enjoying my foods fully.  I believe that if I eat what I really want at meals, I will snack less.  I also believe that focusing on non-weight loss goals in the gym will help me to lose weight as a side effect.  And I believe that it's okay to lose the weight slowly this time around.

Meanwhile, I'm still loving my body.  I love it for what it can do.  I love it for the way it looks (yes, even though I want to lose weight, it is not all about appearance!).  I love my body for how it feels.  I love it for everything it has brought me.  Mostly, I love it because  my mother gave it to me.

Thanks for my pear-ness, Mom.  :-)

2010 vs. 2011 - when diet isn't #1 anymore

In 2010, I was very dedicated to my diet, which was Weight Watchers. 

Every morning, I logged onto Weight Watchers Online, and I went back several times a day to track everything that I ate, even keeping a paper journal throughout the day so that I would be sure to not forget anything.  I would also spend hours on the message boards, groups, and challenges.  I also began my true obsession with blogging that year, both on my WW.com blog and on here.

I had a very specific weight loss goal for 2010, and I knew that it would take hard work and dedication to reach it.  The goal was to lose 50 pounds in 2010, and I did it.  It still makes me feel very proud to know that I did that.



December 2009




December 2010

 My life in 2010 revolved around Weight Watchers, this blog, exercise, and a wee bit of actual work while at work.  I went from weighing in at 207 to weighing in at 156.8.

Enter 2011.  Suddenly my life included something new that's really important to me:  school.

Suddenly my life revolved around school, with Weight Watchers coming in 2nd.

I still made Weight Watchers and exercise a priority, which is why I was able to lose 13.6 pounds in the first few months of the year despite being such a busy bee.

Summer hit, and I pretty much maintained my loss, going up and down the same 1 to 3 pounds every week.

Then came fall semester... along with a tougher class schedule (no more freshman level courses), a car accident, and a bunch of family drama.  And suddenly, Weight Watchers/exercise/healthy lifestyle slid into 3rd place in the priorities.

School, then family/STRESS, then Weight Watchers.

And that's when the scale started to creep up quickly.  I gained 23.4 pounds from my low weight of 143.2, and got back up to 166.6 somehow.  And it wasn't really with obvious culprits such as binge eating or lack of exercise. 

Nope, it was sneaky stuff like a stolen bite here and there.  Not tracking every day.  Cheating myself on the scale.  Not accurately measuring my food.  A few bad habits creeping back in, like eating chips straight from the bag while watching TV. 

Stress can kill your dieting efforts.  It definately killed mine. 

When I finally stopped lying to myself about my weight gain, I felt in control again.  Healthy eating and exercise still aren't my number one priority, but I'm back on the wagon anyway.  I've lost 10.4 of the gained weight, which puts me back to 156.2, a mere .6 pound net loss for 2011.  Sigh.

I can only hope that even though it's not my number 1 priority, that I can continue to lose weight and eventually be able to maintain without the constant fear of regain.

But I'm still terrified that I have a body that wants to be bigger.  Like my body is happiest at around 165 and will keep trying to get me back to that size if I'm not paying close attention.

All in all, I have decided that I would rather be a college graduate (with honors!!!) who is slightly overweight than someone who hates her job and life but is great at losing weight. 

So that's where I'm at now, just trying to get back to my goal weight, but without the HUGE priority anymore.  I'm ready to find a healthy balance.

Of course, that will have to wait until after these finals are over! 

Has stress ever messed with your

weight loss efforts? 

because I want to spread the joy!

Lose 12.6 by Xmas - Week 4 Results!

weight: 158.0

weight lost from preview week: 2.8

total weight loss for challenge: 8.6

measurements

neck- 12

upper arm (widest part)- 12.5

bust (widest part)- 37

bust (below  breasts)- 32.5

waist (smallest part- 30.5

waist (belly button)- 35

hips (widest part)- 44.5

thighs (widest part)- 24

thighs  (halway b/w knee and crothch)- 20

calf (widest part)- 14

inches lost from previous week- 3.5

total inches lost for challenge- 19.25

Needless to say, I'm thrilled with my progress from this challenge!  :-)

Unfortunately, I'm feeling sick, like I'm coming down with a cold, so I'm not going to pushing myself quite so hard this week.  This may end up not being a big losing week for me, but since I lost 2.8 last week, I'm not too worried about it.  I'm going to be gentle with myself while I recover from this cold, which for me may mean less exercise than usual.

I hope that all of your weeks are going well, and I will be trying to do a Tasty Tuesday this week, but I doubt there will be any other posts.  It is looking like it will be another super-busy week for me!



Lose 12.6 by Xmas Week 1 results!

Start weight- 166.6
This week's weight- 164.0 (-2.6)

This week's measurements (+/- from last week)
neck- 12.0 (-1/2 inch)
upper arm (widest part)- 13.5 (-1/2 inch)
bust (widest part)-37.5 (-1/2 inch)
bust (below breasts)-33 (-1 inch)
waist (smallest part)- 31.5 (-.25 inch)
waist (belly button)-36 (-2 inches)
hips (widest part)-45.5 (same)
thighs (widest part)-24.5 (-3 inches)
thighs (halfway between knee and crotch)-21.5 (same)
calf (widest part)- 14.5 (same)

total inches lost 11.25 (counting arms and thighs twice)

Hmmmm.  So in one week of getting back on track, I can lose almost three pounds and several inches all over my body???

That seems like a lot, but I measured correctly.  And you can see the difference in these progress pictures, the first one take a week ago. 

My guess:  Water weight and bloat.  I think that I was carrying a lot of water weight around, and now it's gone.  And that makes me happy!  The scale says I'm lighter and so do my jeans.  :-)

I'm sure that the results this week will be less dramatic (though I would love to lose an inch or two of hips before this is all over!) and that is fine with me.  I have 10 pounds left to lose and 9 weeks to get there.

I CAN DO THIS!!!

144-153.... 140?

Stupid numbers. 

Seriously, NUMBERS again? 

Yep, I'm going to talk about numbers again.  This will be the second post in a series about numbers, the first one being "27" a couple of posts ago, and an upcoming post about the numbers on the tags in my clothes. 

Today's post is inspired by a blog entry that I read today by WorkItOutGurl (Stacey), who talked about self-sabatoge. 

Back on January 22 of this year, I finally got into the healthy weight range by both Weight Watchers' standards and BMI's standards.  I weighed in at 154.4 and it was thrilling!!!  I was ecstatic!

me in January, 154.4 pounds, ridiculously happy!

Here's an excert from my WW blog entry that week-
                                                 

                                   I am hoping that in about 20 pounds, I will out of Plus Sizes, but if I'm not...who cares? Size 6 may be "plus size" some day. It's kind of crazy. I feel and look healthy and beautiful at this size. Thanks, everyone, for all of the support as I've made my way down the BMI chart from obese to normal. :-)

I kind of assumed at that point that I would keep on losing a pound a week and would be down to 135 (my original goal weight) within 20 weeks from that point...  Oh, the blinding optimism of one who has never been in the position of having to lose the last few pounds before! 

I actually did continue to lose the next 10 pounds fairly quickly, reaching the next milestone of 145 on May 14 (eleven weeks!).  OMG, I was once again thrilled beyond belief and ridiculously happy with myself.

May 2011- 145 and on top of the world!!!

I was so happy with and proud of myself for reaching this goal.  At this point, I think that I was still reaching for a goal weight of 135, but I started to doubt that I could make that goal, and even doubt whether or not I really wanted or needed to.  I was happy with my weight.

I reset my goal weight to 144, lost one more pound and called myself "done" with weight loss and ready to maintain my new goal weight of 144 forever.

May 28- goal of 144 achieved.  Delirious!!!

...and I was pretty satisfied with my body, but still wasn't 100% where I wanted to be.  At 144, my size 12's and 14's (depending on the brand and cut) fit pretty perfectly, but I was still very soft and jiggly.  I wanted to work on toning and stop caring so much about the scale.

I quit worrying about Weight Watchers.  I tried to maintain 144 with Intuitive Eating and failed, gaining back 9 pounds and getting back up to 153.  Then I tried My Fitness Pal for awhile and actually deactivated my WW account.  I readjusted my goal weight AGAIN down to 140, giving me 13 pounds left to lose. 

I lost some of it, gained some back, lost some more, and have now been basically losing and gaining the same 5-9 pounds since May.  I did finally admit that I needed Weight Watchers Online and rejoined, which was amazing, but I still was not really focused on losing the last few pounds.

So I had to once again ask myself about my goal weight, and whether or not I was happy at a higher weight.

And the answer is:  No.  I really want to get my weight under control once and for all, and weigh about 140 (138-142 WW range).  Currently, I'm maintaining about ten pounds over that (148-152 range) and that is just not okay with me.

I'm ready to lose the last 10 pounds once and for all!  I have finally realized that this is a LIFELONG journey that does not end when I reach my goal weight.  I have never successfully maintained a significant loss until now.  Yes, I still have 5-10 pounds to lose, and yes, I'm still about 5 pounds heavier than my low weight, but every single pound that I lost in 2010 and before?  Still gone.  And that makes me as happy as I was when I reached 145.  :-)

I am basing my current weight of 149.5 on an unofficial birthday weigh-in.  I'm still offially staying off of the scale, but I had a peek and YEP, I gained. 

I'll leave you with a picture of me on my birthday, which was last Friday so it's pretty much what I look like now.  About 10 pounds until I reach goal, and I'm ready to do it.  It's on.

Stacey & me on October 7- weight 149.5

Sorry for the self-centered egocentric post, but I had to get this stuff out there, and this is the best place to do that.  :-)  I hope that you are all having fantastic days! 

P.S.  Day #3 of No Junk Food Challenge and going strong!

Results NOT Typical...?

Why must this disclaimer be beneath every professional before-and-after photo?

*results not typical

[image source]

AAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!!  Surely I'm not the only person who finds this disclaimer terrible. 

It looms in the back of my mind sometimes, taunting me into believing that even if I reach my weight loss goal of losing 80 pounds, the odds against me maintaining that are nill. 

RESULTS NOT TYPICAL, LEAH, SO STOP FOOLING YOURSELF.

I am sick of the fear of re-gain.  Why shouldn't my good results be typical?  Why can't we all get to our goal weights and stay there?  Why must the results be "not typical"?

As of this moment, I'm going to use that disclaimer as motivation.  But I don't want my results to be atypical.  No, I want to change the disclaimer altogether.  Let's work together to make "results not typical" a thing of the past, and start having great weight loss results be the typical thing!

[image source]

A pipe dream?  Maybe. 

When I get to my goal weight of 140 (10.8 pounds to go!), I will post a before and after photo for all to see, and it will say in bold print "results typical".  Because... why not?  ;-)

Good news/Bad news and Intuitive Exercise

First of all, some good news and bad news.  Since I pride myself in my blogging honesty, particularly in all things food and exercise, I felt the need to share a couple of things with you. 

Good news:  I was down 1.2 at my Saturday WI!  This means that last week's .6 gain was really just normal maintenance stuff.  I am planning to stick in the Weight Watchers maintenance range because I like it: 142-146.  Having this range gives me  sense of peace about my weight, instead of being so focused on staying at 144.0 forever.  (Of course, since I'm working on finding my happy/healthy weight with IE, the number may eventually go above or below that number).

Bad news: I binged.  A real binge, not a cutesy mini-binge.  I ate an entire pizza and two bowls of cereal, all while not hungry at all.  And this, after all of my progress with IE, while KNOWING that I am always allowed to eat anything.  I know that it was an emotional binge (bored, lonely, helpless).  It was stupid.  I don't like calling myself stupid, but that is what my actions indicated on Saturday night: stupidity. 

However- I learned my lesson.  My stomach was KILLING me after this binge.  I decided right then and there that it was over.  That I was going to move on immediately with my IE journey, and not let one binge destroy my efforts.  I could have easily restricted my eating the next day to "make up" for the binge, but I didn't.  I got right back on track.

I haven't gotten to this part of the book yet, but I remember there being a part in it about how even naturally intuitive eaters will sometimes overeat for emotional reasons, and that the difference between an IE-er and a dieter is that the IE-er doesn't see it as a big deal, and after the overeating, they immediately go right back to naturally listening to their hunger signals.

So in that way, I guess I am still on the right track towards becoming an intuitive eater. 

Okay, now for the other reason of this post: Intuitive Exercise!

I realized that I almost never follow my workout plan.  I have decided to stop making them.  Instead, I will just work to get in some sort of workout every day, taking one or two days off a week if I need to.  Instead of writing the plan over there (I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been writing my workout plan to the right for a while now), I will write what I did that day after I do it.  That way, there is an accurate tracking of my workouts every week.  No plan.  Just do what I feel like doing that day.

Okay, now that I got all of that off my chest, I want to close with a couple of great quotes that I picked up from one of my new favorite blogs, The Begin Within Blog:

Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity. ~St. Augustine

Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables. ~Spanish Proverb

Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow. ~Yiddish Proverb

Coming up: Principle 3 of Intuitive Eating- Make Peace with Food; and Tasty Tuesday!

Progress Pictures: 155 vs 145

On January 23, 2011, I posted progress pictures for a new low weight: 154.4.  Today, I weighed in at 145, which was my next goal weight for new progress pictures!  So, without further adieu, I present to you the next (and almost last) set of progress pictures.

On the left, I weighed in at 154.4 (155 for rounding's sake!) and on the right is what I look like today at 145.0.

My hair is different, and the angles may be a bit different, but this is as close to perfect as I could edit/crop them to on picnik.com.  :-)

I think that the biggest changes of the last ten pounds are in my butt (smaller and perkier!) and in my neck and shoulders (thinner and more toned).  If I could go back in time, I would do all progress pictures in bike shorts, because my thighs are a place that I've lost the most inches, and they aren't even shown in these pictures.  Oh, well.  Retrospect and all!  :-)

I'm thrilled with all of my progress and so proud of myself for losing 75 pounds.

Thank you, all of my blog readers.  This blog has been a huge help in keeping my accountable.  Just knowing that people are reading about my weight loss journey has been SO INSPIRING for me to keep on keeping on. 

There will be one more set of progress pictures like this, and that will be when I get to my goal weight of 135!

Sharing My Journal, Day 4

Food and Exercise Journal, May 13
time- food (PointsPlus)

6:30am- The Firm Wave DVD (+7)

8:00am- oatmeal (P), almond milk (LP), banana (P)

12:30pm- cous-cous (P), kidney beans (P), green beans (P), evoo (P), tomatoes (P), NSA applesauce (P)

6:00pm- Lara Bar (6)

7:30pm- Veggie Sub from Lenny's Sub with a baggie of baked chips (12? Not really sure...)

Lenny's downtown Memphis = best service EVER.

Well folks, this morning I woke up and weighed in... and was down another pound!!! This brings my total weight loss up to 75 pounds!!!  Meaning: Time for an updated progress picture.  Stay tuned for another set of pictures of me in a pink sports bra and size 20 jeans (holding them up).  After this set, there is only one set left:  GOAL WEIGHT.  :-)

Get to Goal in 2011! Update.

Just wanted to do an update on how my big challenge of 2011 is going so far. 

Weight loss has been s-l-o-w in 2011.  It's weird to me that I haven't even really noticed this until now.  I've lost 11.1 pounds in 2011 so far.  And I'm thrilled about it!
Two years ago, I would have been upset that it's taking "this long" to get to my goal weight.  Now, almost two years into my weight loss journey/diet/lifestyle change/what-have-you, I see things so much more clearly. 

I am 100% committed to getting to my goal weight and staying there forever (well, child-bearing and menopause aside).  I no longer see my goal weight as "the end" of my "diet".  I am doing what I have to do to get this weight off, and keep it off.

On January 1, 2011, I had 22.6 pounds left to lose.  Now I only have 11.5 left to lose.  I am 1 and a half pounds away from being able to say this sentence:  "I've lost 75 pounds!!!"  And that will be so cool to say.  :-)  Today, I can say something nearly equally as cool-sounding:  "I've lost 73 and a half pounds!"

As of now, I'm aiming to lose .6 a week as a flexible goal that will get me down to my goal weight of 135 by my birthday on October 7.  I lost .3 last week, which is amazing considering how much overeating I did. 

Just wanted to update you all on how my challenge is going!

FYI:  I added labels to all of my blog entries!  Finally.  :-)  Now it's easy to find certain entries if you need or want to.  Doing this also was a great way to check in with myself and see how things are going with this blog.  I definately haven't blogged about The Kind Diet in way too long.  Also, I think it's almost time to do another 5-7 days of "sharing my journal" for you guys.  It will help me to get back on track, too. 

For now, stay tuned for Tasty Tuesday tomorrow night!

I'm back, baby!

I'm so happy with my dieting situation right now.  I think that I needed that wakeup call last week.

Thank you to everyone who read my last post and commented!  You ladies seriously rock my world, and your supportive comments really helped me get through that craziness.

:-)

Life is one big ball of stress right now, so I will make this post short and sweet so that I can get back to said stress.  The biggest stressor = finals are coming.  My first final is tonight!!! At 5:30 central time, if you want to send positive thoughts/energy/prayers my way.  Whatever you got, I'll take! 

Anyway, after reflecting A LOT about why I was starting to hear my old ED-voice again, I realized that it really was about control.  I felt completely out of control in my life, and food and exercise were two things that I can definately control.  But, luckily, I DID NOT listen to that voice.  I caught myself in time, and have continued my healthy eating.

One good thing to come out of that mess:  I am fully embracing Weight Watchers.  Once again, I am committed to tracking my food and exercise on ww.com, and to follow the principles of the Simply Filling Technique.  I briefly considered going back to counting Points Plus full time, but decided that the SFT works so well for me mentally, that I will just stick with that.

I have decided that I may never be able to be an intuitive eater.  As someone with a history of eating disorders, that may not be a realistic goal.  I may need to track my food in some way forever.  *gulp*

Just saying that out loud has actually been a relief for me.  No more big IE goal for me, looming just out of my reach.  I can embrace intuitive eating within the borders of Weight Watchers with the SFT. 

Another reason that I know for sure that my eating disorder hasn't resurfaced:  I answered a poll on the 20's board this morning about the Points Plus program, and how much weight I have lost since starting it.

I looked back in my Weight Tracker, because I really had no clue.  Turns out I've lost 13.4 pounds in the 21 weeks of Points Plus.  And that seems like a great rate of loss for someone so close to goal!  If I continue to lose at that rate (about .6 pound a week), I will be at my goal weight of 135 by my birthday in October. Perfect.  But, I'm not going to obsess about that number.  Instead, I'm going to just focus on the SFT and on my exercise schedule, and get to my goal weight whenever my body is ready for it.  One day at a time.

P.S.  I lost 1.2 this week!!!  Only .4 away from where I was before the gain a couple of weeks ago.  More proof that it's so much easier to gain weight than it is to lose it. 

Hello, Weight Watchers. I've missed you!

Okay, with all of the back-and-forth that I've been doing lately, I won't be surprised if you don't believe me when I say this:

I'm recommitting to Weight Watchers! 

I've decided to follow the plan as written (hmmm, sound familiar?  It should, because it's the number one tip in my "Tips for Weight Watchers"!  Time to start listening to myself, yes?). 

I'm committing to follow the Simply Filling Technique as I lose these last few pounds and well into maintenance. 

Something has just clicked in my head.  I'm not ready to stop tracking on weightwatchers.com.  I'm simply not ready.

I tried it.  Sparkpeople was awesome, but for whatever reason, I was not holding myself accountable tracking on there.  I overate three times this week, one time being and actual binge. 

Many of my WW.com friends have helped me to see the reasons.  One person let me know that it is most likely complacency on my part.  I'm almost to the weight loss "finish line" and so I feel as if I shouldn't have to work as hard.  WRONG.  I have to work just as hard to lose the last 12 as I did to lose the first 12.

One friend said: 

You are one pound from getting your 75 pound star! 

For those of you who have never done Weight Watchers Online, the stars are rewarded to members on their home pages of ww.com at significant weight loss milestones.  You get a new star for every 5 pounds, plus special ones at 10%, 25 pounds, 50 pounds, 75 pounds, 100 pounds, GOAL weight, etc.  I only have two more big starts to get: 75 pounds and GOAL!!! 

WOW, did that shock me!  I hadn't even thought of that yet.  I mean, I knew that I was heading towards the "only 10 pounds left to lose" mark, and I knew that my ultimate goal is to lose 85 pounds, but I hadn't put 2 and 2 together yet.  :-)  Well, now I have.

Any damage that I may have done this week with my crazed overeating will be minimal compared to what it could have been had I not stopped it now.  Three days of overeating?  A blip in the radar.  No big deal.

Back on track, and feeling amazing!

Stacey (boyfriend) says something every time that one of his sports teams almost gets to the finals, only to get eliminated right before: 

"They were looking forward to the next game. 

They forgot that they had to win this game first!"

I believe that is exactly what I had started to do with my weight loss journey.  I was looking ahead, looking for how the heck I was going to maintain this weight loss, but I forgot that I have to win this game, er, lose 12 more pounds, first.  :-)

So that's what I'm doing!  Focusing on losing the last 12 (maybe 13 now... depending on if I gained this week!) pounds.  One pound at a time.

Measurements!!!

I've decided to start focusing on the measuring tape and in how clothes fit more than I focus on the scale.

I took my measurements on March 5 (around the time that I started switching up my workouts and adding in The Wave on a regular basis), and then again on April 9. I am pretty pleased with the results so far! I also decided to take monthly progress pictures to post on here.

In these pictures, I'll be wearing a sports bra and a size medium running shorts. These shorts are currently too small, so please don't be too mean about the muffin top! I know it's there. I just thought that this would be a great way to watch as I slowly begin to fit into these shorts again. :-) So in about a month, I'll be taking another photo and comparing it to this one.


Here are my measurements results (in inches):


March 5, 2011

neck- 12.5

upper arm (left)- 12

lower arm (left)- 9

bust (widest part)- 37.5

waist (smallest part)- 30

waist (largest part)- 37

hips (largest part/butt)- 43

thigh (largest part/right)- 24

calf (largest part/left)- 14

April 9, 2011

neck- 12.5 (I think that I may leave this one out from now on, I don't see my neck getting smaller!)

upper arm (left)- 11 (down 1 inch!!!)

lower arm- 9 (same story as neck....)

bust (widest part)- 37 (down half inch!!!)

waist (smallest part)- 30

waist (largest part)- 37

hips (largest part/butt)- 42.5 (down half inch!!!)

thigh (largest part/right)- 23 (down one inch!!!)

calf (largest part/left)- 15 (up one inch! But I think it's muscle, so I'm happy with it!)

Total lost: 2 inches!!! Woo-hoo!!! These are the end result of my first vegan cupcake baking! These are the "Cookies and Cream" cupcakes from "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World". I had to leave you with a fun picture! This is something awesome that I discovered about my haircut! After a sweaty workout, the grease in my hair can make my hair form a mohawk!

Rewards for weight loss?

I've been asked by some people what I'm going to "give myself" as a "reward" for getting to my goal weight.

In the beginning of my WLJ, I had a clear image of what I wanted to reward myself with once the scale announced to me that I weighed a mere 135.0: a trip to NYC, where I would buy myself a pair of ridiculously expensive designer jeans in my new size! It was a pretty motivating goal for a couple of months.

...Then I lost sight of it. My rewards became mental, completely mental. As in: Just seeing a smaller number on the scale was enough of a reward for me! Those NSVs (non-scale victories) are so rewarding. Here are some amazing and free (or nearly free) rewards that I have "given" myself over my WLJ:

1) old shirts that used to show my rolls that now look awesome!

2) luxurious bubble baths with a cold beverage on the side and a good book or magazine to read (okay, the bubbles, drink, and reading material cost some $, but not much)

3) the ability to wrap a towel around myself, and not a beach towel... a regular towel!!! Walking around the house (er, apartment) wearing the towel, doing homework in the towel, folding towels in the towel, etc.

4) Cooking a healthy meal, enjoying every bite.

5) Dark chocolate. (yep, I went there. Food rewards are still valid to me!!!)

6) Amy's pizza (again with the food rewards! Do I have a problem?) ;-)

7) old jeans that were boxed away because they were way too small. I love giving myself my own old clothes!!!

8) me time: an hour at the gym, a long walk, a bubble bath (I know this was already mentioned, but it needed repeating), permission to read for pleasure for an hour, permission to watch an episode (or 4) of Buffy or Charmed, and my favorite daily reward: The Young and Restless (which is often combined with good food or exercise, double reward!)

9) Blogging. Sometimes, this blog is very cathartic for me, and it helps me to get through a tough day. Today is one of those days, people! Trying to write a bit about positive things to remind myself that the bad days are few and far in between.

As much fun as the cheap/free rewards are, I decided to finally break down and reward myself monetarily recently. I got a haircut, bought some new work clothes, and just now ordered myself three guilty-pleasure books from Amazon.

Two of them are... embarassing! But I want to read them, and will definately be sharing exerts from them if I enjoy them as much as I think that I will...

1) The Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets, by Kim Douglas and Cindy Pearlman.

Sound exciting, no? This can only be helpful for my quest to work on my outer beauty more.

2) The Black Book of Hollywood Diet Secrets, by same people This book looks totally lame! It also sounds completely mindless. And like stuff that I've read a million times in several different magazines... and yet, I'm so excited to read this! Why not enjoy some mindless and fun reading, that may possibly contain the secret to weight loss? (Please know that I'm joking about believing in any such secret, okay? Eat less + move more = only "secret" to weight loss out there) 3) Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited to try making these. I have recently discovered a bakery right here in Memphis that sells vegan cupcakes and cakes, and have been enjoying a few every couple of weeks. Making vegan goodies myself will only save me money, right? ;-) I can't wait to share a recipe with you guys, and let you know how it goes!

P.S. Stay tuned for Tasty Tuesday post late tonight, which unfortunately will NOT have a lunch photo, since I completely forgot to take one. Bad blogger, I know. Sorry! I will describe my boring leftovers lunch in detail, don't worry. :-)

The transition to IE, and Listening to my body...

First, an updated weight loss ticker, just to brag! :-) I love seeing that I've lost over 70 pounds since starting my weight-loss journey. I encourage all of you to post updated weight loss tickers to your blogs, and to smile and feel great about your progress, wherever you are on your journey.

By the way, "weight-loss journey" used to annoy me to no end. But I've really come to embrace that term, for I cannot think of a better way to describe the last 20 months for myself. It really has been a journey, and a lot of it has been focused on weight loss... so, WLJ it is. ;-)

I'm still not sure about my ultimate weight goal of 145. I have really decided to just really start listening to my body about this issue. I've mentioned my goal jeans before (American Eage size 10's from around 2004) and I continue to strive towards fitting into those.

My new weight loss goal: Once I get down to 145 (which I highly supsect will be pretty soon!), I will stop focusing on the scale as much and instead focus on the tape measure for progress. I still have a few inches that I would love to lose (mostly around my stomach and hips) and I just know deep in my gut that the way to get to my ultimate goal size is with Intuitive Eating and exercise, not Weight Watchers.

But to avoid the terrifying "re-gain" that I have often read about with people who get to goal and then quit WW, I am slowly weaning myself off of WW, not quitting cold turkey.

I will also be re-reading the book that taught me about IE, "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. I will post updates on this blog about the chapters that speak the most to me, just to let you guys know the gist of Intuitive Eating. I absolutely love it, and encourage anyone looking for something new to pick up the book and see if it's for you.

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Listening to my body

This morning, I really wanted to do my planned workout on the Wave.

I have been having some lower back pain lately (something that I get on and off, I have a bad-ish back), and felt as if that would do more harm than good, so I stuck with my newest love, the recumbant bicycle (pictures coming soon!).

I'm really working on learning to listen to my body, and everything that it's telling me. Last night, I just knew that I was done eating for the day, but my body was telling me differently. So I ate some triscuits (PointsPlus counted, not a LPF) with salsa and some pickles.

I'm wondering if my body was telling me that I needed more sodium? Looking back on yesterday's menu and water consumption, that could easily have been the case.

Today I am craving vegetables for lunch, so I'll probably have a green monster and a big salad. It feels so good to listen to my body!!!

Do you listen to your body, or do you stick to your plan no matter what?

I used to be a strict planner, which is making this challenge to listen to my body pretty... well, challenging. It's just another baby step towards intuitive eating.

THE 140's!!!!!!!

Just a short blog entry to announce to the world (well, to you guys, anyway!!!) that I am officially out of the 150's! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello, 140's. Feels great to finally meet you!

Don't you just love breaking into a new "decade"?

Gulp...

I have officially updated my goal weight to ten pounds higher than my original goal weight...

New number: 145.

That will take some getting used to! I have been dreaming of "135" for so long that "145" just doesn't look right.

But I know in my heart that I will be very happy at 145, and will not need to get down to 135.

How do I know this? I'm pretty darn happy at 151, and was actually pretty happy at 161, to be honest. I want to get to 145 because I'm still a little "fluffy around the edges" and would love to tone up. 6 pounds should be more than enough to help with that. Plus I would love to have a little more wiggle room in regards to any possible "holiday weight gain" that tends to happen to me annually...

So... I only have 6 pounds to lose until I reach my goal weight?!

How did that happen? :-)

Time to switch up my workouts? *thoughts about my weight, too*

Lately I've been considering adding more strength and stretching to my workouts...

...but I don't really want to!!! I love cardio more than anything else, and don't really have extra time to actually ADD exercise... so I'm afraid that in order to start a strength/abs/yoga to my routine, I will have to actually subtract from my cardio time.

I'm about to get a new piece of cardio equipment, YAY!!! It's a recumbent stationary bike, which will be placed in the living room where the dead Gazelle sits.

Did I not mention on here that my Gazelle died? Yeah, it was a sad day. It still is sitting in the living room, broken. And it's broken in a way that seems unfixable... I find myself looking at it, thinking insane thoughts like, "Well, if I strapped a BIG BAR to that leg with some harness-ing stuff and a tarp... maybe?" It's time to take it to the curb. :-(

But, my cousin Mollie (hi, Mollie!!!) has offered me her old recumbant bike (did I say earlier that it was "new"? I meant new to me), which I know isn't the most heart-pumping workout, but I'm determined to make it work! It's free, it's nice, and it's easy. :-) I'm sure that if I add enough resistance, it will be challenging. Maybe it's just what I need to switch up my cardio and to lose a few more inches of hips? We shall see...

I'm getting the bike this weekend, and will post pictures and discuss my first bike workout shortly afterwards. I'm stoked!

For now, I think that I will be adding in 15-20 minutes of light stretching, squats, lunges, and crunces/situps a few times a week. I'll do this in the evenings while I watch TV, normally after homework/study time and before bath/bed time. :-)

I'll let you know how it goes!

Thoughts about my weight: Lately I've been wondering if I am almost ready to start maintaining. A big part of me really want to go for those size 10's (weight = 135)... but I'm almost afraid that I wouldn't look healthy at that size anymore. The last time I wore those, I was severely restricting my diet and overexercising (eating disorder days...not fun...).

Is it possible that I should start thinking about a higher goal weight? I love how I look and how I feel right now, at 151. I'm thinking that 145 may be perfect for me.

I guess that I just won't worry about it, keep doing what I'm doing (eating right and exercising) and see where I end up. I'm hoping to find my "happy weight" this time around, and stay there forever. :-)

My First SFT Weigh-In Results are in...

...down .6!!!

To me, this is an amazing victory, because I did a couple of "bad" things this week:

1) I emotionally ate. I ate 2/3 a pack of double stuff oreos on Wednesday... But this was also a victory, because I DID STOP eating eventually, and it wasn't after they were all gone! Amazing. I stopped after about 50 PointsPlus, and could have gone to 75. Victory. But still bad, especially on the Simply Filling Technique, especially after I had already eaten all 49 weeklies!!!

2) Wait. I guess there was just one. I have beaten myself up over ONE mistake?! I need to re-read over my "Tips For Weight Watchers", especially the section about not beating yourself up. Time to take my own advice!

Anyway, I ended the week with 5 PointsPlus in the hole. Which means that I earned quite a few Activity Points this week, mostly because I enjoy the exercise, but partly to make up for the oreos. I hope that's a healthy attitude, and not disordered thinking! Help me out readers, do you ever exercise to try and make up for overeating??

Anyway, this week I'm going to plan things out a bit (a LOT) better than last week. I've already pre-tracked all of my non-Power foods in my tracker. If I stick to this, I will eat all 49 WPA plus 7 out of 34 earned AP. That gives me 27 AP left for wiggle room, in case I just HAVE to eat some triscuits and hummus, or a peanut butter bagel. :-)

I am thinking that this is the last week that I will be in the 150's!!! Well, maybe next week will be the last week, who knows?! I have learned that this is NOT A RACE. Weight loss takes time, and with that time comes great knowledge. I am so looking forward to learning how to maintain my weight loss, but right now, I will just enjoy the ride.

All in all, I am LOVING THE SIMPLY FILLING TECHNIQUE. Outside the oreos debacle, I have never eaten healthier than I'm eating right now! Seriously, the Power Foods are all healthy and whole, and I'm feeling healthier because of this.
***Edited to add: Fatsecret.com just informed me that if I continue to lose at this rate (.6 a week), I will be at my goal weight of 135 in 6 months. That would be AMAZING. :-)