For a long time now, I've been on my own in the evenings through the week. Stacey works 3pm to midnight, M-F. So I have had the house to myself.
That is when the bulk of my overeating and ALL of my binge-eating happened. When I got emotional and was alone. There was a Kroger right down the street, and all it took was twenty minutes to drive there, get a box of snack cakes, a bag of chips, and a giant tub of dip, and get home.
Then, there I would be: alone with a bunch of junk food. What else was there to do but eat it all in one sitting while watching TV?
|I don't know where these donuts came from! |
But I guess I better eat them ALL before someone sees...
This would happen at least once a week, and the other days would also have overeating, but not necessarily a trip to the store for the specific purpose of binge-eating.
This is a classic example of closet eating.
I am a closet eater.
Sometimes when I'm in uncomfortable situations, or even sometimes when I'm not, I will just randomly wish that I could be home alone so that I could EAT JUNK in private.
|a closet - not mine (too sparse)|
This closet emotional binge eating is the main reason that I gained so much weight so quickly after Mom died and the number one reason that I haven't lost it yet.
On January 5th, I moved to Nashville for an internship. I now have roommates, one of whom is also an intern and is becoming a good friend to me. I am almost NEVER home alone. I have had to say goodbye to my closet eating.
And it's been a wonderful thing for me.
Last night, when I suddenly was VERY emotional, and all I wanted to do was either binge-eat or even smoke a cigarette (I quit smoking in '09), because my roommate was going to the gym, instead I went and worked out beside her. And I felt GREAT about myself and knocked out another half-marathon training session.
Tomorrow there will be a test for me. She has to go to work, but I don't. I will have the house to myself for several hours. But I'm going to make a healthy game plan tonight, and stick with it tomorrow. :-)
I just wanted to share this experience with you guys, because it seemed like an important realization: I'm a closet eater.
Now that I know, I can start to plan my alone time better. Apparently being alone in the evenings is a HUGE trigger for my binge eating.
I hope that all of you are having great days! I will come back later and add some pretty pictures to this; right now I'm on a computer at work...