Closet eating...

I didn't realize what a closet eater I was until this week.

For a long time now, I've been on my own in the evenings through the week.  Stacey works 3pm to midnight, M-F.  So I have had the house to myself.

That is when the bulk of my overeating and ALL of my binge-eating happened.  When I got emotional and was alone.  There was a Kroger right down the street, and all it took was twenty minutes to drive there, get a box of snack cakes, a bag of chips, and a giant tub of dip, and get home.

Then, there I would be:  alone with a bunch of junk food.  What else was there to do but eat it all in one sitting while watching TV? 

I don't know where these donuts came from!
But I guess I better eat them ALL before someone sees...

This would happen at least once a week, and the other days would also have overeating, but not necessarily a trip to the store for the specific purpose of binge-eating.

This is a classic example of closet eating. 

I am a closet eater. 

Sometimes when I'm in uncomfortable situations, or even sometimes when I'm not, I will just randomly wish that I could be home alone so that I could EAT JUNK in private.

a closet - not mine (too sparse)

This closet emotional binge eating is the main reason that I gained so much weight so quickly after Mom died and the number one reason that I haven't lost it yet.

On January 5th, I moved to Nashville for an internship.  I now have roommates, one of whom is also an intern and is becoming a good friend to me.  I am almost NEVER home alone.  I have had to say goodbye to my closet eating.

And it's been a wonderful thing for me.

Last night, when I suddenly was VERY emotional, and all I wanted to do was either binge-eat or even smoke a cigarette (I quit smoking in '09), because my roommate was going to the gym, instead I went and worked out beside her.  And I felt GREAT about myself and knocked out another half-marathon training session.

Tomorrow there will be a test for me.  She has to go to work, but I don't.  I will have the house to myself for several hours.  But I'm going to make a healthy game plan tonight, and stick with it tomorrow.  :-)

I just wanted to share this experience with you guys, because it seemed like an important realization: I'm a closet eater. 

Now that I know, I can start to plan my alone time better.  Apparently being alone in the evenings is a HUGE trigger for my binge eating. 

I hope that all of you are having great days!  I will come back later and add some pretty pictures to this; right now I'm on a computer at work...