28 years old and time to get HEALTHY for real!

I'm ready to take the plunge and move past the overeating-on-junk-food-sitting-on-my-butt stage of grief.  I'm ready to start feeling healthy and good about myself again. 

But I still have issues with sticking to a plan.  Even a good plan like Weight Watchers or a flexible plan like My Fitness Pal.  So...  I've come up with a fun plan for the year.  I don't know if I will do this for the entire year (until next October) or for just a bit.  And I don't care.  But here is the "plan":

I will be doing something NEW every week!  And by "new" I don't necessarily mean something that I have never tried, but just that I will be switching up my meal and exercise plan every week in order to prevent myself from quitting or getting bored.

I think that I will usually stick with plans that I am familiar with, with a bit of intuitive eating in there sometimes, too.  One week I may do Weight Watchers, the next I will track on My Fitness Pal.  The following week I may do a strict Eat to Live plan, then I will do a week of not tracking at all and just listening to my hunger signals 100% (Intuitive Eating).  And I will also buy some new books and try out some plans that I have never tried before. 

Also, if I'm "on a roll" and don't want to switch plans one week, I won't.  The only rules to this "plan" are the weekly ones that I will follow for whatever plan I am working that week.

So that's my plan.  I know that many plans say that you need to work them for several weeks to see results, but I think that I will disprove that theory.  I believe that as long as I'm tracking and striving for health each week, I will lose weight and get healthier, no matter which plan I focus on.

Since this was my birthday week (YES, I'm 28 years old now), I did a bit of overeating while my amazing brother was in town (Joel came in for a couple of days because he knew how hard my first birthday without Mom would be and because he is AWESOME!!!).  I stepped on the scale this morning and I managed to maintain, not gain!  So I'm happy with that. I'm tracking on My Fitness Pal for the rest of the week, and will start a different plan on Saturday.

And now for the dreaded moment that you have all been waiting for...  (actually I'm not sure if that is true, but anyway...):  My Updated Stats and a New "BEFORE" Picture!

I told you all that I had gained A LOT of weight since Mom's death, but I have never told you the actual number, because I was very embarassed to have gotten back to this point. 

About a month ago, here were my numbers:

weight (in pounds)-

209.2 (AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!)

measurements (in inches)-

neck- 14
wrist- 6
forearm- 9.5
boobs (biggest part)- 42.5
under boobs- 38.5
upper arm- 15
waist (smallest part)- 37.75
waist (belly button)- 44
butt (widest part)- 52
thigh (widest part)- 28
thigh (midway point)- 21
calf- 16.25
ankle- 10

I'm happy to report that after three weeks on Weight Watchers, I got down to 205.2 (-4) and that I maintained the last week.  These measurements were done on September 16, so I will redo them next weekend to see if I'm any smaller...

my new "before" picture- 209.2

I don't have a specific goal weight this time around.  I would love to get to a healthy BMI, but really I'm just hoping to look good in the clothes that I bought for my trip to NYC in May again, at which point I weighed 165 and was wearing size 14 jeans.  But again, I'm taking this one week (and sometimes one day) at a time, and am in no rush. 

It's time to be kind to myself, and that kindness has to include good healthy habits.

Weigh-in tomorrow and an exciting new adventure...

Happy Video Friday!!!

 

 

In this video I discuss tomorrow's weigh-in, an exciting opportunity that I have been offered (not weight-loss related), and still more thoughts on where I'm at in the grieving process.  Toward the end I zoomed in on something and then forgot to zoom back out, so I hope that you enjoy seeing my face REALLY close up. 

 

Have a great weekend, everyone, and I will be back to blogging on Monday (hopefully).

Theme Days! First "Meaningful Monday"

I've decided to add some daily themes to my blog, to help motivate myself to blog more regularly.  Here's what I've come up with so far:

Meaningful Mondays- This will be when I post something meaningful to me, such as a personal post about my mom, or a post about a big statement that I feel needs to be addressed, such as when I wrote about how much I hate the phrase "real women" or when I blogged about how we are more than just our looks.

Mom with Diva and Jacques (my chihuahuas)

Tasty Tuesdays- I have done this in the past.  Basically, Tasty Tuesdays are when I take pictures of everything that I eat that day and share it on the blog. 

an awesome meal that I made recently with barley, black beans, and assorted veggies and spices!

Weight Watchers Wednesday- On WW Wednesday, I will post how I'm doing with Weight Watchers (or whatever program I'm following at the time), including any new ideas or tips that I have encountered over the past week.  I will also give weekly weigh in updates and monthly measurement updates on here, as well as any progress photos of myself.

Grab-Bag Thursday- This will be my unstructured day, when I may post about something random, or whatever I feel like posting.  It may be weight-related, or it may be about school, family, or even what's happening on The Young and the Restless.   I will also use this day to answer any questions that you guys ask me via email, my Facebook page, Twitter, or in the comment section of this blog. You just never know...

Video Friday- A weekly video diary blog post!  I loved posting that video last week, and I look forward to many future video blog entries.

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And now for the first Meaningful Monday post!

I guess the most important thing that is going on with me this week is that I have a physics exam tomorrow... and that I weighed myself Friday night to discover that I emotionally ate my way back up to quite a scary weight.

Here's a fun tip:  If it's been awhile since you've stepped on the scale and you KNOW that you've gained a lot of weight, eat a greasy salty meal and weigh-in late at night.  Mark that weight as your "starting over" weight.  Then, the next morning (after digestion and plenty of sleep), weigh in again.  Like magic, you will have lost a few pounds overnight, giving you an instant jump start to your new weight loss journey!

Okay, so that advice is probably pretty silly, but it worked for me. 

I will discuss my actual weight (SCARY HIGH) and share a brand new "before" picture with you plus new measurements on Weight Watchers Wednesday.

I guess that you've probably figured it out:  For now, I'm back on Weight Watchers.  Intuitive Eating is still what I would love to do, but I'm eating my emotions all over the place and couldn't figure out how to stop without some sort of tracking.  Since WW is what I know best, I figured that I would go back to that for a bit.  I'm not committing to "forever" or anything, but I'm going to try to stick with it for at least 6 weeks.

Why 6 weeks, you ask?

Well, because I've also begun to re-read The Beck Diet Solution, which is a 6 week program that features daily tasks to help the reader stick to any diet plan and to learn to "think like a thin person".  I've tried and given up on Beck's in the past, but I think that perhaps I could stick with this for six weeks?  Or maybe not.  But I'm going to try.

The first task is to write all of the reasons that I want to lose weight on an index card.  I don't have any of those, so I'm writing them on a sticky note!

1) to reduce my risk of diabetes type 2

2) to reduce my risk of heart problems

3) to be able to move easier and faster!

4) to fit into cute clothes, including a bunch that I already have

5) to feel more confident

I can't think of any others, but I like my reasons.  They are so much healthier than the reasons that I probably gave last time, which I'm sure included the words "thin" and "skinny" and the phrase "so that I like myself more".  At least  now I have realized that my weight does NOT define me, nor will being smaller make me happier. 

Anyway, that's all for now!  I hope that you guys like the themes, and I really hope that they inspire me to post more regularly.

Video Diary Blog...

 

I didn't feel like writing a blog post tonight, so I thought that I would record it.  I hope that you enjoy my video diary blog entry!

If you can't watch this, it's basically just me talking about my current issues with my body and eating, including the facts that I am back to tracking because I haven't been able to get my emotional eating under control enough to be a full-time intuitive eater (though I'm still going to try) and that I don't like how my body looks or feels at the moment.

Also, my extreme appreciation for all of my loyal and new readers, who have stuck by me during this difficult time.  (((HUGS))) to all of you. 

Yoga Videos (and more) on Gaiam TV

I was recently approached by Gaiam TV to give their website a try and blog about my experience.  This is a sponsored post for GaiamTV.com.

I was definately skeptical at first, because that is just my way.  Why would they want ME to blog about their site? Is there site really that great, anyway?  I don't trust things that seem too good to be true.

And for the record, this is definately not too good to be true, but it is a great site full of helpful tools!  Just like any other tool though, you will get out of it what you put into it.  I think that GaiamTV.com is a wonderful website full of top notch information.

It is a website that features all sorts of videos that you can instantly stream onto your computer, and many are videos that I have recommended in the past such as those by The Firm.  I absolutely LOVE The Firm, and recommend it to anyone who asks.  :-)

It is very focused on not just physical activity, but also has great sections for mental  health, such as a section for wellness, spirituality, and metaphysics.  I love learning new things, and have been impressed with their archives.  I watched a video called "Through Thick and Thin" which was a wonderful documentary about several women living with eating disorders.  I was so pleased when I found out that Gaiam has documentaries like this right alongside their extensive collection of workout videos.

There is a LOT of yoga on there, for anyone who is into that.  I'm working on learning to love yoga, but am still a beginner for sure!  I am looking forward to doing a few of the kickboxing videos and some more by The Firm.  But, as you know...  I am a cardio junkie, so to each their own.  :-)

A few quick points to make about GaiamTV.com:

1) It is extremely user-friendly.  I like my websites to be easy to use, without much fuss (like Weight Watchers and My Fitness Pal).  There is a great search engine, which I use a lot, along with a great sidebar menu that will help you to easily navigate the site.  It is always available, too, 24/7.

2) It is customizable!!!  I haven't used this feature yet, but you can use GaiamTV to customize a workout program just for you.

3) Innovative Service and World Class Programming.  GaiamTV is basically Netflix but with a focus on health and well-being.

4) Free to try, and pretty darn cheap after the trial!  You can sign up for 10 days for free to see if it is a good fit for you.  GaiamTV is offering this free trial to my readers (YOU GUYS!) along with a free yoga mat for the first 25 of you to sign up.  :-)  After the trial, it is only $9.95 a month to remain a member.

For me, it's a great fit.  I am a very busy woman, and at-home workouts are usually the route that I go.  I love having a library of exercise DVDs this big.  I don't think that my body will ever get bored, as long as I have GaiamTV.com.  Plus $10 a month is less than what I was paying for Weight Watchers Online, and is a small price to pay for a site that is so great.

I plan to blog about more workouts that I try through GaiamTV.com, and will let you guys know about my progress! 

I've only been using it for a week or so, and am already hooked.  I can't wait to try more workouts, and share my experiences with you all.  But if you want to go check it out, just click on the picture below and you will get to their current promotion about the Fall Fitness Challenge!

My Sleepy Challenge

I have a confession to make:  I don't get enough sleep.

In fact, on an average night, I probably get 4-6 hours of sleep before I have to wake up and do stuff for another 18-20 hours before sleeping a bit again. 

I want to start setting healthy goals for myself again, and this seems like a great place to start!

According to my extensive internet research, the benefits of getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night include:

 

1) better heart health

2) (possible) cancer prevention

3) reduced stress

4) reduced inflammation

5) improved memory

6) weight loss

7) improves cognitive function and mood!!!

8) Obviously, you will be less tired all the freakin' time.

...and many more, I'm sure. 

Reduced stress, mood improvement, and the ability to be less tired....?  All of these things are great reasons for people to get the proper amount of sleep.

My excuses for not sleeping enough:

1) Schoolwork
2) Exercise
3) When else am I going to catch up on my TV shows and extracurricular reading if not between 11pm and 2am?
4) Depression/moodiness keeping me up

#1 and #2, I can most certainly do before 10pm.  #3... well, I may have to stop watching so much TV and schedule my reading time also by a reasonable hour.  Perhaps I can even become one of those people who is in bed by 10, reading a couple of chapters of a good book before yawning and falling sound asleep by 11.  #4?  Well, assuming that I can get myself into a steady pattern of sleep, those things will improve.

I'm going to start this personal challenge tonight, by being in bed by midnight.  Planned wake up call: 7am.  For me, this would be an improvment! 

Hopefully soon my body will get used to going to bed and waking up earlier, and I will begin to feel the benefits.

For now, I will try to get plenty of things accomplished BEFORE the evening, instead of dawdling and procrastinating all afternoon, planning to get things done "later".

Looks heavenly, doesn't it?

So that's my sleepy challenge!  7-9 hours of sleep every night being the ultimate goal.

FAT isn't a feeling!

This is something that I have once again had to start saying to myself. 

...because lately I've been "feeling" fat.  Like I'm scared that I have regained back ALL of my weight, because I haven't weighed in in weeks and have been learning how to be an intuitive eater.

And because I'm emotionally spent and exhausted with my grief over Mom and my stress over school, my natural instinct is to shift the focus to my body hate.  I don't know why my mind automatically goes there, but I guess it's a symptom of EDNOS that is still hanging around.

Whenever life gets crazy and my emotions are everywhere, I start searching for CONTROL.  And where can I most easily find control?  By obsessing over my food and my weight. 

And when I look at how I've been eating over the last few weeks, I have been overdoing it with the junk food and underdoing it with the healthy stuff.  And that needs to change if I ever want to be comfortable in my body for good. 

Right now, I go back and forth with how I feel about my body's size. 

The weight that I gained in June hasn't gone anywhere.  It's still clinging to me.  And all of my clothes are too tight and uncomfortable.

I have this theory about that situation:  If I go out and buy myself some new clothes that fit my body as it is NOW and that look good, then I will feel better about myself, and will therefore be happier, and will not "need" to emotionally eat as much. 

So, that's in the plans.  And whenever it happens (hopefully next weekend!), I will post some pictures of my new stuff for you guys.  :-)

For now, I am going to continue learning intuitive eating, but may start tracking again sporadically, just to keep my portion control in check, because I think that I've started to forget the basics on what a healthy portion is.  I'm going to stay away from the scale, but I may pick up the measuring tape soon.  I'm going to start exercising most days again, which is something that I've let slide. Speaking of which...

I've been contacted by Gaiam TV for a blogging opportunity.  I am going to get to try out their new site for free in exchange for blogging about it.  So, I've decided to go for it!  It's a pretty cool website, with tons of exercise videos that stream instantly, including many that I've been wanting for years but have procrastinated buying (namely The Firm Wave!!!).  So I'm excited about that opportunity, and will be blogging a bit more about that site soon. 

I am reminding myself (and YOU) that fat is not a feeling.  When I say that "I feel fat", I don't really FEEL fat.  Fat is a metaphor for whatever I'm actually feeling, but trying to suppress. 

Here's my latest reality check picture:

I don't think this is as bad as I feel...