Thursday, April 5, 2012

I objectify women.

 I HATE that I do this.  I'm sorry that I do this.  I am trying to stop doing this.  But I admit that I do in fact objectify women.

I find myself constantly comparing my own body to those of the women that surround me.


Whenever I walk around campus and see another female student, my mind immediately compares her body to mine.  Most of the time she comes out on top (better body than mine, wish I had _____ like her) but very occassionally I will "win" (worse body than mine).

And this is a habit that is so ingrained inside of me that I don't know how to fix it.  But fix it I will.

I have spent many hours of my life (probably days or weeks if all the time were added together) complaining about how women are more than just their appearance.  How women are strong, intellegent people who need to STOP worrying about their appearance as if it's the only thing that matters.

And yet, I myself am one of the objectifyers.  And it's WRONG.  And it STOPS now.

Like I said though, it's been something that I've been doing for such a long time now that it will be hard to quit.  I will have to make a huge effort to stop worrying about what other women look like, and to stop the compare and contrast game.  I recognize that it's extremely wrong and extremely hypocritical to have such a nasty habit (I would hate to think that the women that I am judging are looking back and judging me, too, but that would be karma wouldn't it?).

When did this start for me?  Honestly, it began when I was in  the deepest part of my eating disorder days, around age 19.  I went to the Pro-Ana websites back then.  Yep, I did.  I followed the "tips", looked at the "thinspiration", chatted with other "anas" and "mias".  One tip was to constantly compare your body to other women's bodies in order to not want to eat.  Yeah, it's a disgusting "tip".  But that is a part of my history that I wanted to share with you all.  Eating disorders are illnesses.  No doubt about it.

Today I started to do something that is  helping me with my objectifying issue.  Every time I started having thoughts about a fellow female's body, I immediately switched the focus to her insides.  "I wonder what her major is?" "I wonder what she likes to do outside of school?" that sort of thing.

Again, I'm sorry about this.  But it's true.  I have been objectifying women for years.  And it STOPS NOW.  I'm done playing the comparison game.  Moving on to playing the "in it for mySELF" game.

4 comments:

Rae said...

I do this in my head sometimes also, but try not to. I also find myself doing this from time to time with celebrity images on the internet, TV, and magazines. I need to stop doing this also, because everyone's "ideal" body is different and we are all beautiful in our own ways. I think many women do this now and then though.

Valleryy911 said...

Today I started to do something that is helping me with my objectifying issue. Every time I started having thoughts about a fellow female's body, I immediately switched the focus to her insides. "I wonder what her major is?" "I wonder what she likes to do outside of school?" that sort of thing.


IMPRESSIVE CHANGE OF THOUGHT PROCESS. Keep it up....us girls who "don't measure up" to where you are in your journey need to be built up in your mind. Send those positive vibes.

Megan said...

I think most women are guilty of this, but the good thing is that you notice it and you're trying to stop it. It's so hard to not compare ourselves to other women, even though each woman has so much going on other than what their body looks like. I know I need to work on this, too.

Jennifer said...

I almost always lose when I play this comparison game in my head. I really try not to do this. It's totally ingrained in us to compare. I hate it! Gonna try to be more aware of it this week thanks to you! Thanks for sharing! :)