30 Days of Blogging - Day 2: Measurements!!!

It's been exactly one month since the last time that I took my measurements, and since I'm blogging daily I thought that it would be the perfect topic.

Lately I've been contemplating giving up on the scale and instead taking weekly pictures of myself and monthly measurements.  I figure that what gets me off track whenever I give up the scale isn't that I don't know my weight.  It's that I don't have a weekly ritual to look forward to.  Why care about what I eat or how much I exercise if there won't be evidence at the end of the week?  So maybe if I take a weekly photo of myself, that would be something.  But I'm not giving up on the scale just yet, because I think that it is a helpful tool for me at this stage.

I know that the photo would not change drastically from week to week, but over time I have to believe that it will.  And wouldn't that make a cool flip book some day, when I've gone from a size 18 to a size 12?  I think so.

Anyway, here were my measurements today (the difference between now and September 16th):

neck- 13 (-1)
boobs- 42.5 (0)
under boobs- 37 (-1.5)
wrist- 6 (0)
upper arm- 15 (0)
forearm- 9.5 (0)
tiny waist- 35.5 (-2.5)
belly button- 44 (0)
butt- 52 (0)
thigh, widest- 28 (0)
thigh, smallest- 21 (0)
calf- 16.5 (0)
ankle- 10 (0)

So in the past two months I've lost 5 inches from all over my body.  This would be cause for celebration, but...  I took my measurements a month ago (and have since lost them!) and the number was 5 inches lost then, too.  So I haven't really lost any inches since October 16th, which stinks.

But hey, I kept those 5 inches off for a month, which is great!  Still, I'm going to aim to lose more by the end of this blogging challenge.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 1: Cousins!

Carrie, Me, Debbie, Mollie

I thought that I would start my blogging challenge with a topic that is very dear to me: cousins.

I have many cousins (one side of my family is Catholic) and we have always been very close.

Unfortunately there was a big case of family betrayal last year that resulted in a portion of my family being disowned, many of them cousins.  i won't go into any more details than that, other than to say that it still breaks my heart, but apparently the universe decided that the last twelve months of my life needed to resemble a soap opera as much as possible.  Well played, Universe.

Anyway, I still have so many cousins in town, and I love them all very much.  We are all around the same age, and are more like best friends than cousins. 

Last night we went to Paint-A-Piece and each designed a plate.  Mine is going to be a christmas cookie plate.  :-)

I appreciate all that they are, and all that they do.  I can't imagine having gone through the last few months without the support of my amazing cousins.  I may have lost a mom, but they lost a wonderful aunt. 

I'm so lucky to have these guys.

30 Day Blogging Challenge - I'm making this one up, y'all.

Okay, so I've noticed (any perhaps you have, too) that it's been awhile since I've blogged regularly.

I could come up with a million excuses.  Would you like to hear the top five?  Here they are-

1. I'm really busy with school right now!  Papers due, finals, etc.
2. I'm still really distracted with my grief, and miss Mom so much it hurts too much to focus on anything other than things that I absolutely MUST focus on (see #1) and even those can be daunting at times.  I've missed more classes this semester than ever before.  I don't have perfect attendence in ANY class, which is weird for me.
3. I've gotten WAY off track with my eating.  I wasn't even able to stick to my one-week-at-a-time thing for more than three weeks.  I'm overeating and not tracking one day, then tracking but still eating junk food the next day.  Rarely do I see a vegetable or a whole grain, unless you count the fakey onion bits on a sour cream and onion potato chips (or the potato, for that matter).  Therefore, it's really tough to blog on here, where I am supposed to be a role model (sort of...).
4. I just don't feel like blogging.  So there.
5. I'm worried that if I blog too much about new ideas that I have, you guys won't take me seriously anymore, because I'm flip-flopped plans and ideas so much in the past.  Therefore, I feel like if I don't blog about it, no one will know, and no one can judge...

Okay, so those are pretty much the top five reasons that I have not been blogging regularly.  And every single one of those is a legitimate reason to not blog.  Right?  ;-)

Anyway, I've decided that perhaps I could try to do a blogging challenge.

Instead of finding one that I like, I have decided to create one.  Every day for thirty days there will be a topic.  The challenge will run November 15 through December 15, and the point is that I will post something every day. 

I've always believed in quality over quantity when it comes to blog posts.  However, please ignore that belief for the next 30 days, because there are sure to be some really poor quality posts in there.

Some will be only pictures, others will contain only a few words, and some will be well thought out and beautiful.  But the latter of the three will probably not happen too often, as this is a very busy time of the year for a student!!!

I hope that you enjoy the next 30 days of my blog.  I also hope that I benefit in some way from regular blogging.  I think that it will be therapeutic and rewarding for me.

Stacey and Jacques snuggle up for a Cowboys game!

Naturally Thin?

Is anyone truly naturally thin?  Are there folks out there who eat only when hungry and only until satisfied, and to whom that behavior just comes... naturally?

I am so jealous.

Yes I know that SMG probably isn't naturally thin,
but the character of Buffy Summers totally is.  Yes, I'm crazy.

Because, as much as I have tried to be one of them, I'm not.

But here I go again, giving this intuitive eating thing a try.  But only for one week this time!  Possibly two, if I think that I'm getting the hang of it by Saturday.

I'm still doing the "one week at a time" approach to dieting, and so far it's working out.

This week (which started on Saturday for me, as all of my weight loss weeks do), I'm doing Intuitive Eating/"Diets Don't Work".  I will still be focusing on getting plenty of sleep, drinking plenty of water, and doing plenty of exercise.  But I will not be tracking my food.

Instead, I will be just listening to my hunger signals.  Which is tough.  This may require me to eat with the TV turned off, which is a huge struggle for me.  I do think that if I ever want to truly learn to listen to my hunger signals that the TV will have to go off while I eat, at least for awhile.

I think that alone would result in my eating a LOT less, because I truly enjoy eating while watching TV and if that's not available to me, why would I overeat, sitting alone without the company of the TV?  Trying to truly enjoy THE FOOD instead of enjoying THE TV and mindlessly eating the "food" (I tend to mostly eat "franken-foods" while I watch TV).

Anyway, here I go again, on another attempt at being an intuitive eater.  But this time, it's not a true attempt, because I fully plan to go back to using MFP within a week or two.  I think that the pressure of "forever" the last times that I tried IE got to me.  One week at a time, even with IE, will hopefully be just what I need.

Will I ever be naturally thin?  I actually do believe that I will be.  But it may still be a few years away.  It is a goal of mine still, and I will NEVER give up on that goal.  Just like my goal to move to NYC, I will have to make and stick to a plan in order to make it happen; it won't happen just because I want it to.  Through trial and error, practicing IE, and never giving up, I will one day be my version of naturally thin.

What is my version of naturally thin?  The next paragraph is how I want to eat some day:

I eat whatever I want, no restrictions.  However, because of years of working healthy diets, I will usually turn towards healthy and whole options because that is just what my body wants and what I crave.  Food has absolutely no moral meaning to me.  I eat a Kit-Kat bar just like I eat a Green Monster:  because it tastes good and it's what my body craves.  Also, I eat only when hungry and I always stop before I get uncomfortably full.  There may be special occasions when that previous sentence doesn't apply, and I will on those special days sometimes overeat, but I will feel no guilt about it and easily go right back to listening to my hunger signals.  I have worn the same jeans size for  years, because my weight no longer fluctuates.  I got down to my healthy weight and have been able to easily stay there, because now I'm naturally thin.

Notice that nowhere in there did I say my weight or pants size.  To me, naturally thin is not about a specific number.  It's more about the behavior and how comfortable I am in my own skin.  If I could do all of the above at my current weight, then by my definition I would be naturally thin.

Anyway, that still seems like a fairy-tale most of the time.  Because of years of disordered eating and dieting and hating my body's appearance, it may be awhile before I get there.  But I will get there, don't  you worry. It will take a long time, and plenty of ups and downs, but I will be naturally thin one day.

Here are last week's stats:

Weight Update
week three start weight: 200.0
end of week three weight: 199.0
total weight loss for week: 1 pounds
total weight loss since 28th birthday (10/07/12): 5.4 pounds

 

I love when Diva relaxes so hard that she literally smiles!

What are your long-term goals when it comes to

diet and exercise?  

WW week review

Okay, so last week was supposed to be a Weight Watchers PointsPlus week.

You probably guessed by how I said "supposed to be" that I was not successful in sticking to this plan for even one week. 

Why?  I'm not sure.  I think that it may be because I've become pretty addicted to simple carbs, which are almost always high in points even if they are not high in calories.  So, midway through the week (Tuesday, actually...) I switched back to calorie counting because I was all out of weeklies.

For those of you who have not tried Weight Watchers PointsPlus and/or didn't read my blog back when I was faithfully following the plan, here's the basic rundown of how this plan works:

First of all, I am given a daily PointsPlus target.  For me, it is 32.  It takes into consideration gender, age, height, weight, and I think a couple of other things... 

The PointsPlus are calculated using fat, carbs, fiber and protein.  Usually the first two of those macros make things higher in PP, while the latter two make things lower.  And there are some "freebies"/zero PP foods, most of which are fruits and vegetables.  Most fruits and vegetables are zero PP, but there are some tasty exceptions:  potatoes, avocadoes, peas, and plaintains are a few examples (all of which I love and wish they were zero). 

I get to eat 32 PointsPlus per day, plus however many zero-point fruits and vegetables I am hungry for, plus a few "bonus" points.  Everyone gets 49 weekly points, to be used whenever and however you want throughout the week.  You could use 7 a day (beer!), all 49 at once (entire pizza, anyone?), and anything in between.  Or not use them at all (masochists).  The other "bonus" points are earned through activity and are appropriately called "activity points".  Every time you move, you can earn these jewels, and I earn anywhere from 5 to 14 per day, depending on how long or intense my workout is.

OH YEAH, the Good Health Guidelines.  I almost forgot about those...  In order to make sure that your weight loss is healthy, and that you are not, say, eating all of your points in donuts and Ruffles, WW has the GHGs, which all members are supposed to follow.  They consist of the ones that you have heard about forever (eat at least 5 servings of fruits/veggies, drink at least 8 cups of water) and some that are exclusively WW (2 teaspoons daily of "healthy oil", daily multivitamin).

So with all these hundreds of PointsPlus every week, and with no restrictions on what types of food I am allowed to eat (outside of getting in the GHGs and PP), why would I have such a hard time sticking to such a reasonable plan? 

The truth is that I don't know.  And I plan to try again next week.  This week I am back to My Fitness Pal and a bit of intuitive eating.  I was an intuitive eater over the weekend and have been back to MFP since  yesterday. 

Last week, I had three days of WW, 3 days of MFP, and 1 day of IE.  Plus I exercised very intensely most days.  And I lost 3 pounds, more than I've lost in a week EVER.  So I guess that combo works for me?  Or I confused my body?  I don't know for sure, but I plan to try WW again on Saturday and give it my full effort because after writing about the plan, it seems very reasonable again.  Sometimes I just need to take a step back.


Weight Update
week two start weight: 203.0
end of week two weight: 200.0
total weight loss for week: 3 pounds
total weight loss since 28th birthday: 4.4 pounds

Week 1 - My Fitness Pal (review)

My first week back to weight-loss and I chose to start with My Fitness Pal.  I think that each Monday I will let you guys know how the previous week went, including a review of the plan!

I really enjoyed using My Fitness Pal again, not only because of my awesome friends over there, but because of the HUGE food database and the fact that I don't have to eat any certain foods or limit any either.  In fact, I ate a lot of "junk" food last week.

I would give you an example of a typical day, but I ate pretty differently every day last week.  Almost every day I exceeded 2000 calories, but netted between 1300 and 1600 after exercise calories were deducted.  At that net, I should lose 1 to 2 pounds per week, and I lost 1.4 so I'm here to tell you that My Fitness Pal's calorie calculations work.

Also, I used their database exclusively to calculate exercise calories, no heart rate monitor needed.  I'm sure that it's not 100% accurate, but it worked for me.  :-)

So that's my review of My Fitness Pal.  It works, and it's easy.  If you are looking for a simple calorie-counting website with a wonderful community to boot, MFP may be just what you need.

I really needed that "gray area" last week.  I needed to track, but still eat junk food and not worry about nutrition.  I think that sometimes everyone needs to do that.  I'm not saying that it was a healthy week (far from it) but I think it was WAY better than OVEReating on the junk food and gaining more weight. 


Weight Update
week one start weight: 204.4
end of week one weight: 203.0
total weight loss for week: 1.4 pounds
total weight loss since 28th birthday: 2.2 pounds

BONUS cute dog picture- Diva and Jacques lazing around...

This week:  Weight Watchers PointsPlus!

28 years old and time to get HEALTHY for real!

I'm ready to take the plunge and move past the overeating-on-junk-food-sitting-on-my-butt stage of grief.  I'm ready to start feeling healthy and good about myself again. 

But I still have issues with sticking to a plan.  Even a good plan like Weight Watchers or a flexible plan like My Fitness Pal.  So...  I've come up with a fun plan for the year.  I don't know if I will do this for the entire year (until next October) or for just a bit.  And I don't care.  But here is the "plan":

I will be doing something NEW every week!  And by "new" I don't necessarily mean something that I have never tried, but just that I will be switching up my meal and exercise plan every week in order to prevent myself from quitting or getting bored.

I think that I will usually stick with plans that I am familiar with, with a bit of intuitive eating in there sometimes, too.  One week I may do Weight Watchers, the next I will track on My Fitness Pal.  The following week I may do a strict Eat to Live plan, then I will do a week of not tracking at all and just listening to my hunger signals 100% (Intuitive Eating).  And I will also buy some new books and try out some plans that I have never tried before. 

Also, if I'm "on a roll" and don't want to switch plans one week, I won't.  The only rules to this "plan" are the weekly ones that I will follow for whatever plan I am working that week.

So that's my plan.  I know that many plans say that you need to work them for several weeks to see results, but I think that I will disprove that theory.  I believe that as long as I'm tracking and striving for health each week, I will lose weight and get healthier, no matter which plan I focus on.

Since this was my birthday week (YES, I'm 28 years old now), I did a bit of overeating while my amazing brother was in town (Joel came in for a couple of days because he knew how hard my first birthday without Mom would be and because he is AWESOME!!!).  I stepped on the scale this morning and I managed to maintain, not gain!  So I'm happy with that. I'm tracking on My Fitness Pal for the rest of the week, and will start a different plan on Saturday.

And now for the dreaded moment that you have all been waiting for...  (actually I'm not sure if that is true, but anyway...):  My Updated Stats and a New "BEFORE" Picture!

I told you all that I had gained A LOT of weight since Mom's death, but I have never told you the actual number, because I was very embarassed to have gotten back to this point. 

About a month ago, here were my numbers:

weight (in pounds)-

209.2 (AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!)

measurements (in inches)-

neck- 14
wrist- 6
forearm- 9.5
boobs (biggest part)- 42.5
under boobs- 38.5
upper arm- 15
waist (smallest part)- 37.75
waist (belly button)- 44
butt (widest part)- 52
thigh (widest part)- 28
thigh (midway point)- 21
calf- 16.25
ankle- 10

I'm happy to report that after three weeks on Weight Watchers, I got down to 205.2 (-4) and that I maintained the last week.  These measurements were done on September 16, so I will redo them next weekend to see if I'm any smaller...

my new "before" picture- 209.2

I don't have a specific goal weight this time around.  I would love to get to a healthy BMI, but really I'm just hoping to look good in the clothes that I bought for my trip to NYC in May again, at which point I weighed 165 and was wearing size 14 jeans.  But again, I'm taking this one week (and sometimes one day) at a time, and am in no rush. 

It's time to be kind to myself, and that kindness has to include good healthy habits.