Every morning, I logged onto Weight Watchers Online, and I went back several times a day to track everything that I ate, even keeping a paper journal throughout the day so that I would be sure to not forget anything. I would also spend hours on the message boards, groups, and challenges. I also began my true obsession with blogging that year, both on my WW.com blog and on here.
I had a very specific weight loss goal for 2010, and I knew that it would take hard work and dedication to reach it. The goal was to lose 50 pounds in 2010, and I did it. It still makes me feel very proud to know that I did that.
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| December 2009 |
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| December 2010 |
Enter 2011. Suddenly my life included something new that's really important to me: school.
Suddenly my life revolved around school, with Weight Watchers coming in 2nd.
I still made Weight Watchers and exercise a priority, which is why I was able to lose 13.6 pounds in the first few months of the year despite being such a busy bee.
Summer hit, and I pretty much maintained my loss, going up and down the same 1 to 3 pounds every week.
Then came fall semester... along with a tougher class schedule (no more freshman level courses), a car accident, and a bunch of family drama. And suddenly, Weight Watchers/exercise/healthy lifestyle slid into 3rd place in the priorities.
School, then family/STRESS, then Weight Watchers.
And that's when the scale started to creep up quickly. I gained 23.4 pounds from my low weight of 143.2, and got back up to 166.6 somehow. And it wasn't really with obvious culprits such as binge eating or lack of exercise.
Nope, it was sneaky stuff like a stolen bite here and there. Not tracking every day. Cheating myself on the scale. Not accurately measuring my food. A few bad habits creeping back in, like eating chips straight from the bag while watching TV.
Stress can kill your dieting efforts. It definately killed mine.
When I finally stopped lying to myself about my weight gain, I felt in control again. Healthy eating and exercise still aren't my number one priority, but I'm back on the wagon anyway. I've lost 10.4 of the gained weight, which puts me back to 156.2, a mere .6 pound net loss for 2011. Sigh.
I can only hope that even though it's not my number 1 priority, that I can continue to lose weight and eventually be able to maintain without the constant fear of regain.
But I'm still terrified that I have a body that wants to be bigger. Like my body is happiest at around 165 and will keep trying to get me back to that size if I'm not paying close attention.
All in all, I have decided that I would rather be a college graduate (with honors!!!) who is slightly overweight than someone who hates her job and life but is great at losing weight.
So that's where I'm at now, just trying to get back to my goal weight, but without the HUGE priority anymore. I'm ready to find a healthy balance.
Of course, that will have to wait until after these finals are over!
Has stress ever messed with your
weight loss efforts?
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| because I want to spread the joy! |
9 comments:
Great blog! You are so right about stress. It's actually a physical thing, google weight gain and stress and you will find out some very interesting chemical things that happen to your body when you become stressed.
At some point we all have to find a way to not let our weight rule our lives. We simply can't spend our lives obsessed with this or we will miss out on LIFE.
Question for you: what if your body really does like being at 165? Would it be so terrible? 165 is a far cry from where you started. I've noticed several maintainers on the TFC boards who got down to a lower weight but could not maintain it and are now much happier maintaining a higher weight. I've always told myself that if I get to a weight that is low enough to require extreme measures to maintain, perhaps that weight is too low for me. I'd rather be slightly heavier (by the way, people who are slightly heavier than the stated normal weight of the BMI chart actually have longer lifespans and less disease) and live my life fully than be thinner and have to constantly focus on dieting. Just something to think about.
Good luck with those finals!
Thanks, Kate! Yes, I have wondered about it, and it may come down to that. But I'm not quite ready to give up on my lower weight goal yet.
But it is definately something that I'm thinking about, because I really don't want to constantly worry about my weight FOREVER, especially when there are so many other things in life that I want to accomplish! Thanks for the comment. :-)
Leah, it's super hard to be able to balance everything! That was always my problem with weekends, visiting with family, enjoying life came first and getting healthy was second. I'm hoping after the baby I can find balance since I'm not visiting with family only on weekends, but every day!
Hey Leah! I know what you mean about nutrition/health/exercise being #1 priority. I have been trying to get my "mojo" back too. Stress and life changes can really make it hard. I have been back on the WW plan for a little over 2 weeks now and I am also taking a lot of classes at the gym with a Groupon coupon that I redeemed and I am starting to feel like my "healthy" self again. Finally! Good luck with your finals and everything else during this crazy time of the year!
hiya leah -- so nice to see ya back to bloggin'!
sounds to me like you are living life -- a stressful life mind you -- but unfortunately weight loss cannot be priority #1 all the time. i think all considering & how amazingly far you have come -- you are rockin' it!
the whole *not sure what weight my body will be comfy with* issue is exactly why i haven't made a *goal weight* yet... it's tough to know until you are there!
Stress is something that kept me from losing weight in the first place. After I left the pressure cooker I called a job, I was a happier person. Without that stress, I was able to start losing weight.
I've pretty much maintained this year as well. However, I joined a 90 day challenge that starts on Monday. So, it's back to the workout grind... and back to eating healthy. My diet has been a hot mess.
Good luck on your finals and good luck finding balance.
Stress has killed my weight loss this year. I gained back everything I had lost last year. I'm working on getting myself back on track in spite of the current stress I'm feeling. It's more empowering to jump back on and prove you can do it.
"All in all, I have decided that I would rather be a college graduate (with honors!!!) who is slightly overweight than someone who hates her job and life but is great at losing weight."
EXACTLY!!
Stress has killed my efforts, I think. That's probably why I'm stuck on this 5 lb up and down rollercoaster lately. Ugh.
I'm proud of you for maintaining through a very busy and stressful year! THAT is an accomplishment in itself!
I LOVE reading your blog.I loved this post.Stress.. I think it hijacks the mind and it makes you eat crummy things.You think it will make you feel better.But, the guilt is never fun on top of the stress.Keep up the good work and the good thing is you seem to have a great attitude going forward.
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