Why am I still engaging in this extremely diet-y behavior? I guess out of habit. I keep eating "bad" food, like pizza, chips, and chocolate candy. I keep on skipping the gym. And because I don't feel guilty about those behaviors, it's hard to motivate myself to stop doing them.
This is definitely new territory for me, knowing that I am trying to be completely done with dieting and food/exercise guilt. I think that my inner "diet rebel" is emerging, trying to test me.
It's hard to find a balance, and hard to find motivation to do healthy things without the guilt as motivation.
This is a journey, as lame as that may sound to some, I truly believe in the word "journey" for many situations. Recovery is a looooooooooooooong journey.
As ready as I am to be "normal" around food, as ready as I am to be an intuitive eater, as ready as I am to be at peace with my body... I'm not there yet. And that's okay.
I need to be kind to myself as I figure out what is next for me.
I need to figure out how to get the motivation for healthy habits back WITHOUT guilt.
3 comments:
First off... I love the pic! You're gorgeous!
I haven't found the key to staying motivated yet... The only thing that gets me to eat even a little healthy is feeling like crap all day when I eat crap all day. Now.. the exercise thing... I have no clue. It's been years since I worked out consistently for more than a month at a time. :P
I think this sums up my last 5 years! I had no motivation, because I didn't feel guilt. I just was. One day in April this year, something just clicked in my head and I started being more food conscious. You're doing great and you're beautiful. :)
I feel like you've posted my mantra for the majority of my adult life! I really only ever had my weight under control for a little over 1 year, between my daughter and sons' births, and I long for that size once more. I just need to get all of the crap food out of the house :) (if only it were that easy!)
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