Friday, June 28, 2013

Starting over tomorrow...

Confession:  This entire week, I have been telling myself that I will start over tomorrow with better eating and getting to the gym.  I just told myself that again a few minutes ago.

Why am I still engaging in this extremely diet-y behavior?  I guess out of habit.  I keep eating "bad" food, like pizza, chips, and chocolate candy.  I keep on skipping the gym.  And because I don't feel guilty about those behaviors, it's hard to motivate myself to stop doing them.

This is definitely new territory for me, knowing that I am trying to be completely done with dieting and food/exercise guilt.  I think that my inner "diet rebel" is emerging, trying to test me.

It's hard to find a balance, and hard to find motivation to do healthy things without the guilt as motivation.

This is a journey, as lame as that may sound to some, I truly believe in the word "journey" for many situations.  Recovery is a looooooooooooooong journey.

As ready as I am to be "normal" around food, as ready as I am to be an intuitive eater, as ready as I am to be at peace with my body...  I'm not there yet.  And that's okay.

I need to be kind to myself as I figure out what is next for me.

I need to figure out how to get the motivation for healthy habits back WITHOUT guilt.


Mariebop said...

First off... I love the pic! You're gorgeous!

I haven't found the key to staying motivated yet... The only thing that gets me to eat even a little healthy is feeling like crap all day when I eat crap all day. Now.. the exercise thing... I have no clue. It's been years since I worked out consistently for more than a month at a time. :P

Shannon Tatlock said...

I think this sums up my last 5 years! I had no motivation, because I didn't feel guilt. I just was. One day in April this year, something just clicked in my head and I started being more food conscious. You're doing great and you're beautiful. :)

MW said...

I feel like you've posted my mantra for the majority of my adult life! I really only ever had my weight under control for a little over 1 year, between my daughter and sons' births, and I long for that size once more. I just need to get all of the crap food out of the house :) (if only it were that easy!)