About my Goal Weight Identity Crisis
Once again, I'm wondering if I should increase my goal weight.
I got into my goal clothes this weekend, and the goal jeans are just...too...tight...!!!
I'm wondering if losing 9.2 more pounds will be enough to fit into them.
Furthermore, I'm wondering if it's even healthy for me to be trying to get into the jeans that fit me when I was at my lowest weight ever (135 - my current goal weight) that I only got into by starving myself with disordered eating when I was 19 years old.
Perhaps it's time to give these "goal jeans" away and to start focusing on loving my healthy body? Adjust my goal weight to 142-145 and begin to maintain within the next month or two?? Or even begin to maintain now?!
I know that this is a personal decision that I have to make for myself, but I thought that I would throw this out there to you guys anyway. I don't know if I'm looking for advice, encouragement, empathy, or just looking to be heard. Just wanted to share.
Because I'm starting to think that I could pretty easily maintain 75 pounds lost, but 85 pounds lost may be tough for me.
And I'm really starting to wonder if I should donate those size 10s and 11s that fit anorexic Leah. Stop worrying about if I will ever fit into them again. Size 12s, 13s, and 14s all fit (depending on the store/brand/cut) and look fantastic on me. Why do I care if I fit into the 10s and 11s?
Sigh... what a "problem" to have, right? Wondering whether or not I should stop losing weight, because I'm healthy and happy as I am.
About my Intuitive Eating thoughts
So............. I'm considering doing another experiment with Intuitive Eating! Yes, I know that just a few posts ago I said that I was going to let go of my IE dream, but I think that I spoke too soon.
I'll let you know what I decide, but I think that since I'm questioning my goal weight, IE may be the best way to go.
Supposedly, if I listen to my body's hunger signals 100% and follow the criterea of IE, my body will settle at the weight that it's supposed to be at. I'm starting to think that my body likes being at 144-145, but I may surprise myself and lose a little more with IE. Or, the opposite could happen and I end up gaining a bit. Surprisingly, I'm actually OK with gaining a bit as long as I don't get back into the 150's.
Anyway, I'm going to re-read my Intuitive Eating book and report back what I decide.
No matter what I decide with my eating, I am going to keep on updating with monthly measurements posts for a while, and keep on toning up with exercise. Also, I will continue eating mostly Power Foods and always try to listen to my hunger signals. And keep up with the number one rule: Everything in moderation!!!